Fix, fix, fix.
Hammer the point in. Try to figure out what’s broken by unscrewing everything. Paint over the imperfections. Hastily duct tape it back together.
Fix, fix, fix, fix, fix.
Something I’m learning about myself: I constantly want to fix things.
…You’d think I own a repair shop.
Some days, my desire to fix things quickly is my greatest strength. Problems get solved. Healing happens faster. Forgiveness is quick and painless. My most meaningful relationships are strengthened.
But other days, the intense need to fix things is my achilles heel.
Here’s what I’m discovering:
Sometimes, when you try to fix everything quickly, you end up fixing things that aren’t really broken.
And when something actually is broken, you miss how beautiful it can be—broken is real, vulnerable, honest. Letting ourselves be broken in front of and in relationship with other people is a sign of our shared humanity. It is, ironically, the strongest kind of glue that bonds us together, fosters empathy, and creates deep trust and understanding long-term.
Sometimes, there’s nothing to fix. Even when something is broken.
Just as powerful as learning how to fix well?
Learning how to surrender well.
Surrender to that which is imperfect. Surrender to the pockets of disconnection between you, and other people, and the world, and the work you do in it. Surrender to the less-than-perfect days. Surrender to how relationships change. Surrender to how people change. Surrender to who they are—and who you are—in the first place.
It is one of the many paradoxes of life: sometimes, the best way to “fix” something is to let it run its course, let time work its magic, let life teach you what its supposed to in the chaos and brokenness.
Whatever feels heavy to you right now…
What would happen if you relaxed, eased into the pain, came to full acceptance of what is, and left your arms and heart wide open for whatever life was going to send your way?
When you get pulled out by a tidal wave, the worst thing you could do is try and fight against it.
The wave is bigger than you. So is the world. So are many of the problems you create or become part of in it.
Just relax. Surrender. Float.
And, slowly but surely, you’ll find your way back to the starting point you’ve been looking for.
No toolbox required.
