Where does your sense of worth come from?
Are you someone who's sense of self-worth is reliant upon receiving perceived love, affirmation, and positive feedback from others? Or, are you someone who's sense of self-worth is rarely shaken when you’re going through something tough, or when someone isn’t treating you very well?
Do you start to question how lovable you are when you are in any kind of relationship with someone who begins to withdraw, disengage, and doesn't express interest in you anymore? Or, are you confident enough in your own self to know you are loving—for your best and your worst—no matter how others receive you?
Do you place all of your worth in something external—like work, friendships, romantic relationships, the size of your bank account, how often people laugh at your jokes, your popularity?
Or, do you place your worth in the size of your heart, your willingness to be vulnerable, your ability to see the best and worst of you and still love and honor every bit of it?
Unconditional love is magical.
When we love ourselves unconditionally, it means we love all parts of ourselves. We love the good, the bad, the confusing, the weak, the strength, the messy, the joy.
And when we love ourselves unconditionally, we begin to develop a sense of self-worth that is not determined by anything outside of ourselves. It's determined by who we are on the inside, how we're growing, and the full acceptance of the ways in which we’re imperfect.
When we love ourselves unconditionally, and our sense of self-worth comes from within, that's when we have the space to love other people unconditionally.
What I'm learning is when I love myself completely and wholeheartedly, I give others the space to just be wherever they are. If they are going through stuff, I don't internalize it as something being wrong with me. I just let them be where they are, and love them through it. I remain myself—humbled by all the ways I still have left to grow, and grateful for all of the ways in which I’ve already grown.
When we get to that point, there's no need to chase, point out someone else's inadequacies, tell people over and over how they are creating pain for us.
We can meet people where they are and embrace them, no matter what. We stop taking things so damn personally, we ask for what we need, we honor ourselves, and we love others for every part of who they are—not just some parts.
We stop chasing for answers and clarity, because our worth doesn't rest in understanding or being understood perfectly by others. Nor does it come from receiving love, warmth, and positive affirmation from others. While those things are incredible and give us the most wonderful sense of belonging, connection, and meaning, we can be without them and still feel a wholeness with ourselves.
That's what it comes down to, friends.
When you love yourself unconditionally, your self-worth remains high and consistent, no matter what life throws at you.
And when you believe in your worth, you get to show up fully every day, for all the people in your life.
With outstretched arms, an open heart, and the willingness to love others exactly where they are.
And that's worth more than gold.
