The Killer Couple Book 1 //L.s au

Larry As Fuck: CA

Can't believe I get to do this. This was really fun to write! I decided on a different format for this to go by. And I'm calling it the JeddieJay way Surprise , he's my king. See it sort-of like a game show!

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HAROLD: (gets out pieces of paper and reads over them) "Hello, hello, my beautiful readers. My name is Harold E. Lewis- though you already knew that didn't you, mate? We are here today to do a Character ask!" (audience applause) "You will see heartache, good times, bad times, and even maybe a pregnancy or two! Here are our main guests now! Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Liam Payn, and Eleanor Calder!" (another audience applause and cheers as they all walk in and take a seat). "Welcome, Characters."

LOUIS: (smiles politely) "Hello, Harold, long time no see?"

HAROLD: "Louis, always a pleasure." (turns to HARRY and smiles). "Harry, how have you been?"

HARRY: "Grand, thank you." (waves a hand in the air) "The job is treating me well, I guess."

HAROLD: "Good to know! Niall- I know you've been through a lot these few chapters care to tell us how you're doing? Or should we just assume you'r fine and wait for the questions?"

NIALL: "It's all fine with me. M'good, same ole, same ole. Ready for these questions, though!" (cheers).

HAROLD: "Right, Zayn, Liam, Eleanor, you're all good as well? El, how's being dead, my bad bitch?"

ELEANOR: "I'm fine, still good." (watches as ZAYN and LIAM nod along with her).

HAROLD: "Swell! Let's get started! Then!"

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#ASKLOUIS:

HAROLD: "Louis,you're up first! For your first question, " (olds up a pieces of paper and reads) "is from a Mrshorlikstylinson, and she asks: Do you think you would ever warm up to Niall and are you jealous he gets more attention from Harry? Oh, a tough one right off the bat!"

LOUIS: "Niall can suck my cock and choke while he's at it. Harry only looks at me, so pfft, why would I even be jealous I mean- I mean that's just ridiculous!" (aggressively) "What even makes you think that?"

HARRY: "Louis..." (worried, grabbing his leg soothingly).

LOUIS: "You dont... pay more attention to the Irish-bitch, do you?"

HARRY: (smiles lovingly) "Of course not, baby."

LOUIS: "Then why the fuck would she ask, hmm? The bitch isn't blind; obviously she sees something!" (slowly getting louder)

HAROLD: "Aheheh.... uh heh.. moving on! Louis, you're next question is from girlinapurplehat, and she asks: Why are you hatin' on the Nialler! And would you ever k*ll Harry? Good question! Louis?"

LOUIS: "I'm not hatin on anyone, he's a fuckface and annoying." (gasps, covering his heart) "He's my soul! I would never! Don't ask dumb fucking questions!"

HARRY: "Oh Lou." (smiles).

HAROLD: "Cursing to a minimum guys... there's 12 year old lurking maybe... Even though this is rated PG-13!! I see you, yah sneaky bastards!" (grips the papers, breathing heavily)

ZAYN: "Um, Harold?"

HAROLD: (Blinks, cheeks flushing) "R-right... moving on! U-um 1Dkittyfan wants to know: why don't you want a baby? "