I lay there thinking as I hear the soft thud of tears hit my pillow. He's gone. He's gone and its all my fault. I don't know what to do other than lay here sobbing. I don't want to do anything except sleep but I can't. As hard as I try sleep never comes. I want to drift away into a world of peaceful sleep and never return. Never wake up.
My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of a door opening and closing down the hall. Matt's door. I get out of bed and walk to his room. Slowly, I open the door. Then I see Tim sitting on Matt's bed hugging a stuffed elephant that used to be Matt's favorite. Matt. All the memories come flooding into my head. His crumpled body on the ground beside the swing set, blood staining my hands as I try to stop the bleeding. Matt is dead. I walk across the room to where Tim is and sit beside him. He puts his arm around me and I lay down resting my head in his lap. I cry into his jeans, staining them with tears.
"Why did he have to die?"
I thought the question aloud. Tim understood that the question did not need an answer. We sat there in silence letting our thoughts consume us.
