A Long and Lonesome Highway

Carry On

Max felt like she was in a dream, but she knew she wasn't, there was a disconnect between herself and her mind. The walls of the science lab felt so foreign yet familiar. She felt like her brain was running on autopilot.

Her memories and thoughts felt, detached from herself, like they were playing out of a TV or speakers.

"Max Caulfield.. "

Ms. Grant was standing in front of the class, arms folded but a concerned look in her eye.

Max didn't say anything, she just nodded her head.

"You seem distracted, I'd like you to stay after class."

Max nodded again and looked down, her notebook pages were empty, lacking any notes she should've been writing down.

The rest of the class, she was spacing out. Her train of thought didn't exist in that time, she stared blankly at the empty notebook, fascinated by the lines on the paper.

The bell rang, and as most of the class packed up to leave, Ms. Grant announced an extension on their projects.

What projects?

Ms. Grant closed the door behind Warren, who is usually the last one out. From the corner of her eye, she saw him give her a worried look, a small smile, and he left. Ms. Grant walked to Max's lab. Instead of standing up like she would have, she sat on the stool across the chemistry set.

"Max," she began in a soft tone, "how are you?" Her gentle eyes and voice was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Tears slowly pinched through her eyelids. She pressed her palms against her eyes, she hated crying in front of anyone.

"Ms. Grant, I'm sorry, but I feel like I'm losing my mind..." she removed her hands. "I feel so, disconnected from myself, like there's a hole in myself that won't ever be filled again..." she sniffled.

Ms. Grant handed her a tissue, and spoke, "Max, there's no secret that you're suffering from something. PTSD and other mental illnesses can stem from, any traumatic event... you shouldn't feel bad about it..."

Max looked into her soft hazel eyes, Ms. Grant had a motherly love surrounded her, like mom, like, Joyce...

Just thinking about Joyce again brought a second wave of emotions, mostly sorrow. "I can't focus anymore, I'm just thinking about what happened. The sound, it echoes in my head..." a single gunshot went off. "I hear it now..." she turned her gaze away.

Ms. Grant stood up, walked around the table, and hugged Max. She felt nothing but warmth and love, her hand started stroking Max's hair.

"Shshshsh, it'll be okay." She soothed.

A sob broke from Max, but after a few minutes, the sorrow and regret was washed away by her supportive gesture. Ms. Grant broke away, and pulled up the stool from the workstation behind Max's.

"I know, it was truly horrible. But right now, you need time, and support. A lot of it." She held Max's hand, "I know you'll be okay, I know you will, Max."

With her free hand Max wiped her nose, "what makes you think that, hmm?"

"Because, I support you, you have friends here that support you, Kate and Warren. They'll be there for you, if you reach out to them..." she paused, "especially Warren. I've seen how he looks at you, but talk to your friends, don't shut them out." Ms. Grant gave her a small but genuine smile.

Max nodded, she shouldn't shut them out. Especially her parents, but they're not ready for the truth.

I'm not ready to tell them...