Cuts Run Deep

Pushed

~Harry's POV~

We say goodbye to Draco and head towards the common room. That apology couldn't have gone better. Hopefully they can be friends eventually. I smile at the thought.

"That wasn't so bad, was it now?" I ask Ron. He rolls his eyes, but he doesn't stop smiling. It's a start.

"I guess you were right. He doesn't seem too bad." This makes me smile. He continues, "I'll try to at least be civil around him."

"Good." I say. We stop in front of the Fat Lady's portrait. "23 Sickles." The portrait swings open and I step inside with Ron behind me.

Ron sighs. "I think I'm going to go shower real quick. I've got detention later today." I raise my eyebrows and laugh. I don't even have to ask why he's in detention. Professor Binns gave it to him for falling asleep in class. This happens so often that I'm not even surprised. I've asked why he doesn't just switch classes. He said he'd rather take History of Magic than Divination for credit though.

"Okay. I'll be down here if you need me." Ron says alright and jogs upstairs. The common room is empty. I plop down on the couch in front of the fire. There is a crunching noise in my pocket. Oh yeah, the note. I forgot about that. I take it out and unfold it. The handwriting isn't familiar. It is neat and square. There's no name signed on it either. Odd. I start to read.

I wish I hadn't.

Here's what it said:

Harry Potter. Your life is just SO perfect. Isn't it? You have friends, glory, and everyone loves you.

Not me. I despise you. Nobody has ever noticed me. I've always been there since first year. No one knew. I might as well be a ghost, but at least then I would be seen. You want to know what made me feel this way?

YOU.

You aren't special, you're just a worthless, attention seeking, bratty piece of trash.

I wish you never existed, because then someone might know I did.

-Anonymous

There's that feeling again. There's a knife in my chest that is being slowly twisted. Dudley's similar words ring in my head. I bring my hand up to my face. It's shaking. I can't stay here. Ron is upstairs, so I can't go there. Without really thinking, I run out of the common room.

I walk past everyone quickly and with my head down. I'm not crying, but I'm breathing heavily. You would have thought I just ran a marathon. I have a headache. I ignore it. Where can I go? I stop and look around. The classrooms are most likely empty, but I don't want to risk running into anyone. I look to the left. A restroom. Perfect.

I stumble through the door and trip over my robes. I don't hear anyone at first so I just stay on the floor, eyes wide and breathing hard. The words on the note are running through my head. I made someone feel like that. The thought makes my eyes sting. I bite my lip. I won't cry. I hear footsteps behind me. I feel my whole body become stiff. I don't move until I hear the voice.

"Are you alright?" the voice is male and familiar. Deep but soft at the same time. I turn around suddenly and see their face. I recognize it immediately.

"Draco?" My eyes are wide as I look up at him. I stand up hastily and leap at him in a hug. He seems extremely startled, almost losing his footing, but he wraps his arms around me after a minute. We stay there. I stop holding back tears. Steady streams run down my cheeks. He holds me up the whole time.

Finally, I stop. Draco pulls me away and holds my shoulders instead. I can't look him in the eyes.

"What happened?" His voice is stern and I can feel his gaze on me. I reach into my pocket and take out the note without saying a word. He takes it from me and reads it. His face turns white and his jaw is set hard.

"Am I a horrible person?" I squeak put the question, my voice hoarse from crying. I look up at Draco with an empty expression. He looks horrified. He pulls me into another hug fiercely.

"Of course you're not." He whispers soothingly. I draw in a breath and we break apart again. Draco gets up and walks to the door. He casts a silencing and locking charm on the door and then sits down next to me.

"Talk. Let it all out. I'm here to listen." I give a sad smile. He's so sweet. I take a deep breath and rant. Most of what I'm saying doesn't even make sense. It makes me feel a whole lot better though. By the time I'm done talking, my head has stopped hurting. I'm so glad Draco was there. I don't know what I would have done if he wasn't...

I look to my side. Draco is giving me a small smile. I look down at my hands and then at his. I notice something off about his forearm. I reach for it and he pulls it away. I look up at him and shrink back.

"Draco." It's my turn to be stern. I look him in the eyes. "What is wrong with you arm?" He winces away holding his left wrist. The whole forearm is covered in raw skin. What did he do?

I sit and wait. I don't want to push too hard because he didn't for me. He takes a couple deep breaths and he doesn't look up when he talks.

"The Dark Mark." His tone is dark and distant. "It was always there. A constant reminder of what my family was. What I was. I thought it would go away after you killed the Dark Lord. It didn't. It was as bold and dark as ever. I couldn't stand it. Two days ago, I woke up from another nightmare. It was horrible. I ran into the restroom. I couldn't stand looking at myself, so I broke the mirror. Before I knew it, I was carving the mark out of my arm. It hurt, but at least I wouldn't have to see it every time I look down." He's chewing on his lip. I put my hand on his and he looks at me.

We're inches apart. His eyes are sad and aged, but still beautiful. His lips look so thin and soft. They're slightly parted and I can feel his breathing. I can't stand it anymore. I lean in closer and close the gap between us. Draco seems shocked at first, but it becomes more natural after a moment. I realize what I'm doing, but I don't stop.

I'm kissing Draco Malfoy.

~~~~~~~~~

Finally! Sorry that kiss took so long :(

Hope you enjoyed reading!

❤-Fanon_is_better