𝙵𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝙼𝚎 (𝙽𝚘𝚝) - 𝚉𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚢

chapter xv.

Harry wakes up terribly early the next morning. He couldn't sleep well, with anxiety making his heart go insanely fast and his mind not giving him a moment of respite. It was all thinking and wondering what to do, how to act, planning and hoping for things to be okay.

So in the morning, Harry packs quietly as he waits for his mum to get up. There's not much, just the holdall that Zayn had given him when he was discharged from the hospital. It seems like an eternity ago now, especially with Harry's minor wounds and bruises slowly disappearing. If only the scars were on his body and not on his life, his family.

When Harry tells Anne that he's going back, she smiles at him and gives him a hug. Harry didn't give much thought how it was for her, seeing a completely different version of her son than she remembered. And she hasn't seen her grandchildren since before Harry's accident either. As far as he knows, they visit her often and Sadie did ask about gran once or twice. That's another thing Harry needs to fix.

Just after nine, Harry's sitting in his mum's car in front of his and Zayn's house. It's a simple semi-detached house in a nondescript residential area. There's a car parked in the driveway, one that Harry is familiar with now.

"Do you want me to go in with you?" Anne asks.

Harry shakes his head. "No, it's gonna be fine. I'll just... go home, I guess."

"It's gonna be fine, love," Anne puts her hand atop Harry's, giving him an encouraging smile. "They all miss you and you miss them too. Once you're home again, things will be easier. You can't throw your whole life away."

"I wouldn't," Harry frowns. "I just needed time."

"And no one's holding that against you," Anne affirms. "Everyone understands how difficult this situation is. But underneath all this struggle, you still have two lovely children and an amazing husband. So don't be scared to go back to them."

Harry nods a few times.

"I know you're worried more about Zayn than the kids." Harry looks at him mum in mild shock. He didn't expect her to be so blunt. "He still loves you, Harry. He might not show it well because he's worried about how you both will handle the kids now. So you need to try and show him that you love him still, if you do."

"He kissed me," Harry says quietly, almost in a trance. "When he dropped me off from the park. Just on the cheek."

"That's good," Anne smiles a little. "You know that you can call me anytime? At any hour?"

"I know," Harry nods. "So, I guess I have to go."

"You do."

"Thanks, mum," Harry says. "For everything."

"You really don't need to thank me, darling," Anne hugs him quickly and kisses his cheek. "Now off you go. Before Sadie sees us here and runs out screaming like a banshee."

Harry laughs. "Okay, going now. See you soon."

Harry hesitates once he's standing outside his house, with his mum already speeding down the street. Without the shelter of the car, he feels vulnerable. He can still majorly fuck up and that can have a negative effect on the children's development. He and Zayn can fall apart and their relationship can end in a divorce. But if he doesn't try, he won't know.

"Get your shit together, mate," Harry whispers to himself as he walks to the front door. He must look insane. "You've got this. It's your bloody family. You love them. Everything will be fine."

Harry rings the doorbell and soon enough, there's a significant amount of commotion from the other side. As soon as the door is open, Sadie comes running out, Noah following her at his slower toddler pace.