Do I love a bad boy ?

Chapter 19

|| Austins POV ||

We got back to the hotel and I walked in the room .

I couldn't find Keegan .

" Keegan ? " I said looking around.

I walked to the bed and found a note.

Dear Who ever finds this .

I just wanted to say this . I'm so broken its not even funny . I can't live with this life anymore . I just want to give up . I want to run away. I want to die . I want to leave this life and never come back . I love you guys .. It's just that I've been hurt to many times .And none of you .. Except Alexis and Sky have helped with it .. Did any of you know that Lucas raped me ? Did any of you know that After sky moved away I cried every night . I thought my best friend had died . Imagine that . Seeing you best friend "die" . Could you live with yourself if you saw that.? Could You live with yourself if you saw your best friend get " smashed " . None of you knew how many times I wanted to commit suicide . So here's a note . I'm not saying I'm commiting suicide .. But I'm not saying I'm staying ..

Mom & Hazel : you guys already live your life without me . I live inside my room and you see me every once in a while . It will be almost the same except you won't see me ever again.. I'm sorry that it came to this but I'm not going home with you .. IHOP is and was the last time you will see me ..

Alexis : Alexis .. Oh this is probably gonna hurt you so bad .. I know you care but I can't live the life I have anymore .. I can't live knowing I'm getting used . You have skylar and you can live your life with your best friend back . Take the water bed out of my room and take it to your house . Do not dwell on me coming back because I'm not .. Thank you for always caring about me and being my best friend .. I love you so much .. Never change .. Stay you ..

Skylar : I'm so glad your alive .. And I'm sorry I'm leaving when you just came back .. But I can't stay here anymore .. Live with Alexis and be happy . Don't cry over me because I am not worth it . Thank you for being my best friend through all of these years .. I love you so much .. Never change .. Stay you ..

Analeigh : Even though you may never see this .. I just wanted to say thank you for being my best friend for the short time you were .. Have fun in Maine .. And don't let people use you or hurt you like they did in San Antonio .. I love you .. Never change stay you ..

Alex Rob & Zach : You guys became my best friend in legit 3 days .. You were always there when me and Austin weren't fighting ... You alway made me smile . You helped me through my suicide attempts .. You guys mean a lot to me .. Never change .. I love you guys ..

Austin : oh Austin .. I love you so fucking much .. You stole my heart.. You made me smile without trying.. But .. You broke me to much .. This IS NOT your fault .. I have just been bullied way to much .. And seeing you flirt with that girl made me realize you don't need me .. Seeing Alexis laughing with Alex made me realize she doesn't need me .. Seeing skylar happy with Alexis made me realize .. She doesn't need me .. My mom has Hazel .. You can have any girl you want . Don't cry over me .. Don't get heart broken because of me .. I don't know why you would .. Thank you for caring .. I love you so so so much ..

I'm not saying this is a suicide attempt .. But this is good bye .. I'm never coming home .. I will never see you guys .. Ever again ..

Bye ..

I dropped and started bawling she's gone .. She left .. I'm never gonna tell her she's beautiful.. I'm never gonna make her smile .. I'm never gonna ask her out .. And worst of all I'm never gonna tell her I love her..