Chapter seven
Alec's pov
Why can't I be straight? It would make my whole life so much more easier. Jace and I, we could be brothers. Just brothers. No complicated feelings towards each other. Or well, the complicated feelings that I had towards him would go away.
He doesn't feel the same way about me. I know it. I've known that we have different feelings for each other for awhile. If he felt the same way about me then he would have said so sooner. He wouldn't have dated Clary. And he wouldn't have lied to me.
That's why I told Izzy to leave. Jace lied to me. I want to be alone. Cry in peace. Ha, I'm so pathedic. Jace will never love me the way I love him. The way I still love him. Sure I'm furious at him for lying to me. But, I still want to be his parabatai. I'd never leave him. Argh, that just brings me back to my orginal question. Why can't I be straight? Why do I have to love him?
A knock at my door pulled me out of my daydream. Thinking that it was Izzy, coming to try and comfort me more after I told her I was fine, I yelled "come in!" Argh. My mistake, I saw Jace standing at my door. "Hey," he said like nothing had happened between us.
Determined not to let that bug me, I ignored him, and started to read the book in my hands. I had been so distracked in my daydream that I forgot I had the book in my hands. "Can I still come in?" He asked. I ignored him. Because:
1) If I actually did talk to him, I would probably end up punching him, in the face. And knowing how much more stronger Jace was compared to me that probably wouldn't be good. Not that he would punch me back, it's just Jace knows me better then anyone. He knows that if he touches the scar that runs from my hip up to the bottom of my ribs that I'd freak. Let's just say he knows how to push me buttons.
2) Ignoring Jace is fun. It makes him mad, and I find that funny. Especially right now. I wanted him to be as mad as I am. Anyways back to real life...
"I'm taking that as a yes." Jace came and sat on the edge of the bed. I was laying on my back. "Whatcha reading?" He asked, even though He already read the tittle of the book and has probably already read it himself. We sit in silence for about five minutes until I realize that he's not going to leave until I talk to him.
"Nothing." I mumbled. He moves closer to me, I move farther away from him. Jace sighs, "really? Is that not a book in your hands? Sorry, my bad." He says as he takes the book from me. "Random Architectural Facts About Idris." I sigh. "Give it back." I have a moment of déjà vu from earlier today when Jace stole my lunch.
"Oh, so you're talking to me, now?" Jace asked, like this was my fault. "No." I decided. I rolled over and looked out the window at the sunset. I felt him lay down next to me, he wasn't touching me. But, I could feel his presence. "I'm sorry." Jace whispers. "I know." I feel him slide closer to me. Still not touching me but close. "I took advantage of your feelings for me, I lied to do it." I sigh. "I don't have feelings for you." I lied. Jace moved closer to me. I tensed as his chest touched my back. He put his arm around me, pulling me closer. "Really? I have feelings for you." He admited. The strange thing: there's was no sarcasism or mockery in his voice. I start to untense. But then an idea popped into my head. I'm going to make him work for me. See if actually completley wants me, needs me . . . loves me. "Get off me." I said, as I pushed him away. "Alec, please."
"Go away, Jace." I said, still watching the sunset. "I broke up with Clary." He blurted out. That caught me off guard. "I'm sure." I said, not missing a beat. "I did!" Jace protested. I could hear the anger in his voice. "Why don't I believe you?" I encouraged him. Jace sighed and mumbled something about being sorry for breaking my trust. I should have known though. I can usually tell when Jace is lying. Him crying though. He never usually cries, It was weird.
"Come on," he said taking my hand, "I want to show you something because you're so interested in the sunset." I sighed. "I don't want to." Jace let go of my hand then ran his hamd through my hair. I pulled away. Even though it could have been really enjoyable. "I'll carry you." He offered. "Not crippled. I don't need to be carried." I said. He picks me up bride style anyways. "Put me down." As he carried me out the door. I wrapped my arms around his neck for security. "Nah, you like it." He said looking at the way I had my arms. "No, Jace. I don't put me down." Thus arguing went on for five minutes of him carring me around the institute. "Put me down, Jonathan." Jace froze. His weak spot. If he still wanted to talk to me after this then I know that he truly likes me in that way. Jace dropped me. I stormed back to my room, leaving Jace frozen in the middle of the hallway.
