Forever [Prim/Cato]

Chapter 9 - The Tribute

This is it.

This is the day of the reaping.

My worst nightmare.

Cato's worst nightmare.

But just another day for Willow.

Of course, I couldn't sleep. How could I? I just know that this is the day.

Snow has always been so conniving. I know he has been planning something symbolic in his threat to us. Things always have a bigger meaning to him. So what better would be throwing our daughter into the Games on the day that I was, about sixteen years ago? How fun would it be for him to instill the same fear in my heart that he did when my name was called for the Games?

And how fun would it be for him to kill her? The same way I was supposed to die...

I think he's doing this because he always regretted  letting me and Cato out alive. I think it seemed like a great plan at the time, but he didn't expect how much of an impact it would have on the nation.

No matter though, we just have to get through the day.

I woke up in District 12 this morning, after a total of two hours of bad dreams, at home with Katniss in the house we got when I won the Games. Willow is here with me, sleeping soundly right next to me, while Cato is back in the Capitol with head Gamemaker duties. I wish he was here with me. I can't stand being without him when I'm feeling like this.

Willow being next to me in bed is the only reason I was able to shut my eyes at all. I held her while she slept for most of the night, crying silent tears and saying prayers for my baby girl.

She let me hold her, something I'm not always able to do. Willow knows that I've been very stressed out and worried, so to ease it, she's been letting me treat her like my little baby again. I don't want her to worry, but coddling her and spending the time with her eases the pain of her possibly going away, even just a little bit.

Secretly though, I think Willow sometimes likes to be treated that way. She absolutely loves when I rub her head, something I used to do all the time when she was little. It would get her to sleep so quickly. Willow looks just the same when she sleeps, like my sweet baby girl who's always loved life.

At the crack of dawn, I finally decide to get out of bed and go downstairs to get breakfast started. I don't want to throw off our schedule and make Willow any more worried. It's already weird having her here in District 12, but since I have to be here for Twelve's reaping, I didn't want her to be in the Capitol with Cato while he's so busy. He wouldn't be able to make much time for her at all.

When I make it downstairs to the kitchen, Katniss is already awake and cracking eggs into a pan. She looks up and peers at me with a sad smile. I don't return it, just take a seat at the kitchen island and bury my face in my hands. I'm tired of crying, and I think I've cried myself out of tears for the past month.

I just want it to be over.

Snow knew what he was doing when they'd made this decision. Keeping me in fear, and in agonizing pain, for 16 years is enough to keep me subdued and under his control.

Katniss hands me a cup of orange juice and sits next to me, putting a hand on my back.

When I look up at her, she's got water in her eyes. I know this can't be easy for her. The Games every year can never be a good experience, considering what we all have been through. I always think about how she wanted to be there all those years ago, in my place... she's probably blaming herself for what's happening to Willow too. If she'd have gone, Willow wouldn't be in this situation. Although, if she had gone, Katniss wouldn't have such a amazing girl in her life. This is her only niece, and there is absolutely nothing she can do about it. No one can volunteer for her. No one can get her out of it.