We're not living, we're surviving

17

My bat hung by my side, my lower jaw went slack as I stood there. There was too many. The false hope of the seemingly deserted town now in cinders on the ground as Tyreese, Shane and I took in the masses of Walkers banging their rotted skin against the glass door. I closed my eyes and rubbed the tired skin before reopening them, knowing that the dead wouldn't be gone, that they wouldn't be a part of my imagination. But I was almost praying that they would be. They had to be.

This town had been deserted, we'd all seen it when we drove through. When we got out of the car. There was no way this many walkers could've hidden themselves from us. There was no way they wouldn't have shown themselves when we pulled up. But then it hit me. Maybe they had heard us, but they weren't in the town. Or even they'd been stuck and didn't have the reason to get themselves out until we pulled up. Until we gave them that reason.

If Shane hadn't fired the gun, maybe they would have continued walking right past us, maybe they wouldn't have noticed we were in here. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Even in my panicked state, I knew maybe's weren't going to save us. I knew we all, Shane Tyreese and I, had to think in certainties. Had to come up with a plan.

"We're not going to make it. We're not." I whispered. I was trying my hardest not to actively show my blaming of Shane for this, but I couldn't help the feeling in my gut of hatred aimed at him. He fired the gun. It was his fault that we were all going to die. 

It was impossible to tear my eyes away from the nightmare before me. It wasn't like I hadn't been in this situation a million times before. It wasn't like I hadn't seen a walker before. Just the last time I saw this many in one place, a little girl had died. A little girl I'd promised to protect.

"Emilia, make yourself useful and go with Tyreese to check out the back. Make it quick, we ain't got a lot of time. I'll stay back and keep an eye on this lot." Shane instructed.

It wasn't until a hand wrapped around my arm that I was able to look away and give a small nod. My entire body was shaking as I followed Tyreese, him with his hammer raised; my own weapon gripped tight in my trembling hands.

Once at the door to the back of the shop, Tyreese turned slightly in my direction, a single finger raised to his lips. His other hand found the door handle and pushed it open. The first thing I was aware of when I stepped into the room was how utterly pitch black it was in here. With no windows, nor cracks for light to seep in through, the only light was from the doorway through which we'd entered; but even that was pale.

The second was the overwhelming stench of rotting. It filled my nose, my mouth, everywhere it could get the smell was already there. Tears filled my eyes as I tried not to gag. But as bad as the smell was, it wasn't my main concern. The thing that was making the smell was. I knew only one thing that smelled as bad as this room did.

Fishing in my pocket for my torch, the dual click creating two beams of light told me Tyreese had just done the same. But the sight the sudden flash of light revealed was not one I would wish upon my enemies. Sure, there was a door with an exit sign above it, but crammed in the small space the four walls created were just as many walkers - if not more - as those threatening the glass at the front of the building.

And now they knew we were here.

As one they moved, stepping over their fallen ranks to reach the fresh meat Tyreese and I offered. It was too late to close the door as the walkers had already blocked our path to it. A thought played at the very back of my mind that it was a bad decision to come on this run. I had to leave it as just that, a thought. For right now, both my life and Tyreese's depended on me being strong enough to face the mass of decay fighting it's way to us.

My bat struck the first walker to reach us in the arm. Once, the noise of breaking bone made me sick to my stomach. Now, I was almost sickened by how accustomed to it I'd become. Over and over I swung my weapon. But it soon became clear there was no winning this fight. There were too many walkers and only two of us.

"We need to clear a way to the exit, push through." I shouted over the noise of the small herd. The clicking of their teeth as they tasted the air around them, the groans escaping their mouths with the strain of pushing their fellow deceased forwards, as if that would increase their chances of reaching us.

"Don't lose hope, Emilia." Tyreese grunted with the force of shoving back a walker who'd gotten too close before slamming his hammer into the side of it's head. "Just keep fighting."

Hope. There was no hope. Any ounce of hope I'd ever had left when Shane fired his gun. Hoping was a dangerous activity, especially in this day and age. Hoping someone will come and save you leads to not bothering to think about a long term survival plan. Hoping that we'll get out of here just fine was futile. Just one look at what we'd have to fight through was enough to know we were both going to die.

But my bat kept swinging, finding home in a walker's skull, in another's arm. There wasn't enough room to get any kill shots, but as long as their teeth were away from my skin, I didn't care. "I think we need to use out guns."

"What? No, I can't. I --" But my voice was cut off by a walker -- a woman with bald patches covering her head where the flesh was rotting away and falling off, taking her hair with it. With clothes that had once been high range, clothes that didn't belong on someone in such a small town shop. That didn't belong on someone rotting. Teeth snapped too close to my face, my footing was poor. This walker was going to send me off balance and there was nothing I could do. Trembling fingers pushed at her chest, but to no avail. There was no grip, the top few layers of her skin came away with any kind of pressure I put on it. "No, no, no, no." The words tumbled out of my mouth, falling over and over each other in my panic. I didn't need to turn to look at Tyreese to know he was too busy keeping walkers away from himself to help. I was on my own, and I was going to die.