After 5 years (Bucky Barnes)

8.

"you know one thing that amazes me about you and Steve?" I asked "what?" He asked playing with my hand "the fact that when you two grew up it was a different world I mean there is so many things that are different from what it was for you then." I said "and yet you two are so accepting and open to it all." I said "I mean for one the lgbt community." I said "what's lgbt again?" He asked "lesbian, gay, bi and transgender." I said "oh yea no it's different and I'm honestly still trying to get used to modern things." He said "but I mean when it comes to that it's not that difficult I mean why not accept them when it's just who they are?" He asked "especially seeing as everyone has accepted us when we are from a different time and accepting me after everything I've done." He said

"hey that wasn't you okay that was those assholes using you." I said "I know it's just I still did those things." He said "hey." I said turning his head to look at me "you are not that person that person was an emotionless, heartless assassin." I said "that is not you." I said "you are not emotionless." I said "I have seen your emotions you are sweet and sentimental." I said "you are definitely not heartless." I said "you care about me, you care about that little girl in there, you care about Steve." I said "you are really caring I mean you helped Morgan understand that Tony died by using her dolls" I said "if you were him you wouldn't have done that." I said "and you wouldn't be staying here with me and cuddling me on the fricking couch if you didn't have a heart." I said "well you are adorable when you fall asleep in my arms." He said "see if you were that person you wouldn't think that." I said "I guess you're right." He said "damn right I am." I said making him laugh.

"thank you." He said "hey you accepted me for who I am so I accept you for who you were." I said "why wouldn't I accept you for who you are?" He asked "well I mean some people who grew up in this era still don't accept bisexuality but you do and you accept me even though I am bi." I said "I don't have a problem with it whatever makes the person happy to be themselves and I think it's amazing." He said "yea?" I asked "well I mean you are attracted to both men and women so you probably have so many options out there and yet you like me." He said "you give me too much credit I don't have options." I said "I'm sure you do. You are such an amazing person, you are so beautiful." He said "I'm glad you think that." I said "but most people nowadays prefer someone who looks like Nat." I said "someone who is naturally beautiful, skinny, with good curves." I said "I'm not that." I said looking down at my hands "hey." He said lifting my chin to look at him "you are absolutely gorgeous. You are a natural beauty." He said hand on my cheek "you have a beautiful face. You are skinny and your curves are absolutely gorgeous." He said both of his hands on my waist I blushed.

"you really are good at this gentleman thing aren't you?" I asked my hands on his chest "I mean if I'm not a gentleman to someone as perfect as you than I don't know what it means to be a gentleman." He said "okay I love the gentleman side but I also kind of hate it because I know that when a gentleman really likes a woman they don't make a move on her for a while." I said "I mean yes but it is different now and technically this is our second date and it has been five years so I think the rules are a little different." He said "especially cause now it's common for the woman to make the first move." I said "oh really?" He asked "yep. Now what do your gentleman rules say about that?" I asked "I don't think they say anything so therefore I think that makes it a bit of a free area." He said "so what would you do if I were to kiss you?" I asked "I would kiss you back." He said I leant in and kissed him he kissed back we were making out "and if I were to do this?" I asked in between kisses my hands roaming around his chest "I would do this." He said kissing me again squeezing my waist my hands roaming around his chest "what about this?" I asked moving my leg to sit on him "god." He said moaning "oh did I make you happy?" I asked moving my hips a little he moaned quietly "I would say how about we go inside." He said kissing my neck.

"God you are so sexy." I said pushing him against the door after he closed it kissing him. "You are absolutely gorgeous." He said through kisses he kissed my neck making me moan into his shoulder I started taking his jacket off he took it off kicking his shoes off as well. I started unbuttoning his shirt kissing his chest as I went taking his shirt off he took his pants off leaving him in his boxers "unzip me." I said turning around moving my hair out of the way. He unzipped my dress kissing my shoulder pushing my dress off my back I slid it off leaving me in my bra and underwear. I turned back around to face him he was just staring probably at my scars I got self conscious covering my stomach with my arms "hey don't do that I think you're beautiful." He said holding my hands moving my arms "you were staring." I said softly "honestly I was staring at your chest." He said making me blush "but I did notice your scars and cuts." He said I frowned "hey I'm not gonna judge you I have scars of my own." He said "yea but yours were done by other people." I said then realising what I said looked down "you hurt yourself?" He asked sounding upset I looked up at him I could see his eyes getting glossy "yea." I said shamefully "why do some of them still look new?" He asked I could feel the lump in my throat "because they are." I chocked our "w-when?" He asked I sighed "after I found out Tony died." I said "but I've been with you the whole time." He said "I-I do it in the shower." I said "what about the other ones?" He asked I looked at him sighing and taking him to the bed sitting down "first was when my parents died." I said "I was so depressed they were everything to me." I said "and it didn't get any better I kept doing it when I was a teenager especially when I was trying to figure out my sexuality." I said "then when my adoptive parents died it got worse." I said "it didn't get better until the Avengers started I was so busy that I didn't have time to be sad I still was sometimes when things got really bad and then I met you." I said smiling "you were the only thing that actually made me genuinely happy and made my depression almost go away completely and I stopped for like 2 and a bit years." I said "until Thanos happened." I said "and I tried to stop I did stop for a while a few times but I just kept seeing that moment in my sleep and I would break again." I said "and then finding out that Tony the person who has been there my whole life and Nat the person who helped me through the last 5 years died it sent me over the edge again." I said "everyone I ever care about always gets taken away from me." I said "everyone I ever love gets taken from me." I said through tears "my birth parents, my adoptive parents, Tony, Nat and you." I said "it's like the universe has cursed me." I said crying he moved closer to me so I was basically in his lap and engulfed me in a hug. I cried into his shoulder he rubbed my back.