Chapter 30

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Unclear, to the point where she is the reason why we are arguing.

Yung tipong mga lakad namin, hindi na natutuloy dahil sa kanya.

Yung mga date namin, maraming reasons ang pumapasok dahil yung babaeng yun ang may kasalanan.

Yung mga midnight bondings namin, it feels like we haven't done it since she entered our lives.







Yung mga dating ako,



May bago nang pumupuna.

Nandito lang ako sa kwarto ngayon. I am supposedly to go out today kasama si Ricci. But na cancelled na naman. He has something to do daw kasi. He even ask juan to accompany me.

Ano? Si juan ba boyfriend ko?

I refused to his offer. I said na ako nalang mag isa ang pupunta. I ended the call knowing he is still speaking. Umiiwas lang ako sa away. Kasi alam ko at the end od the day, away lang bagsak nito. He didn't even bother to tell me kung ano bayang mga pinag kakaabalahan niya. That he can even ditch me just for that.

1 month na kaming ganito. Since that Elise came back. Some of my friends told me that matagal daw silang naging fling nung nasa DLSU pa si Ricci. Napa wow nga ako eh. She even enrolled here in UP para lang lumingkis kay Ricci.

I met her once or twice ata. She is fiesty, maldita and kung ano ano pa. I didn't like her. Let me rephrase it, I didn't like her since I saw her. I felt that something is into her.

Everytime I go the GYM to watch Ricci, she's there. She even bringing foods and wipes Ricci's sweat. And also, she shouts like she's the girl of the man he's been bothering. It really annoys me. Everything about her. To add is her presence.

1 month palang, maraming beses na naming siyang pinag aawayan ni Ricci. To those times na nakakansela yung mga lakad namin, moments na sana kami ni Ricci yung mag kasama. Na po-postponed lahat. Even our TVC and endorsements, kasama siya!

I've tried so many times to tell Ricci na that girl is into something. Na may pina plano siya na kung ano man against us. Nararamdaman kong mali. Mali lahat sa kanya, the way she look and talk to Ricci.

Pero nauuwi lang sa ako na naman ang nag kakamali. Mali daw ang mga iniisip ko. That Elise is good and wala naman daw siyang ibang masamang plano. Na gusto lang daw makipag close ulit towards him. Na tamang hinala lang daw ako. He said na I'm getting paranoid.

Babae ako eh. Nararamdaman ko if there is something wrong. Nararamdaman ko na may masamang bagay na mangyayari sa tuwing lalapit at mapapalapit si Ricci sa babaeng 'yon. Na naging mali lahat nung bumalik siya.

Minsan, dumating na kami sa point na uuwi nalang ako ng mag isa. Dahil ayoko na may masabi ako sa kanya na masama at alam kong pag sisisihan ko sa huli. Lahat ng mga bagay na sinasabi niya sakin.

Tinatanggap ko lang. I never say anything to contrast it.

Kasi ayoko na mag sisi sa huli, na sana... hindi ko sinabi sa kanya yung mga bagay na 'yon.

We made a promise. To not conclude something and just say it to each other to resolve it properly. Ginawa ko! Ginagawa ko! Sinasabi ko sa kanya lahat. Lahat ng mga bagay na nararamdaman ko. How I feel, kung anong iniisip ko at gagawin ko. Even with that girl! Ginawa ko lahat Ricci.

Pero parang kulang parin na paniwalaan mo ako.

Tinamad na ako lumabas. So naisip ko na music cover nalang. Singing and doing cover is one of my alternative way to let out my emotions. I do not typically rants to my friends or said anything. Maliban nalang kung hindi ko na kaya. Na I need someone to listen to me.

(PLAYING YOU'RE STILL THE ONE)

When I first saw you, I saw love
And the first time you touched me, I felt love
And after all this time
You're still the one I love, mmm, yeah


First line palang, it says it all to our story. Love at first sight. I really think it never dies. Kahit na gaano na siya kasakit, kapag mahal mo. Mahal mo talaga.

Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday

They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong


Maging ako man. I also didn't think na we are going to the point na magiging masaya kami. Yung dating hinihiniling ko na mga mata na saakin naman dumako ang tingin, tumingin at minahal pa ako. I think love is thing that is very unpredictable. Yung mapapaisip ka na, akala mo alam mo na. Yun pala, hindi pa.

You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night


Hanggang ngayon, siya parin naman. Sa kabila nang mga sakit na we have caused to each other. Siya parin. Sa kabila ng lahat ng away at di pag kakasunduan. Siya parin ang laman ng puso ko.

Ain't nothin' better
We beat the odds together
I'm glad we didn't listen
Look at what we would be missin'

They said, I bet they'll never make it
But just look at us holding on
We're still together, still going strong

Sa sandaling panahon naming mag karelasyon, akala ko napag daanan na namin lahat. Akala ko na kakayanin na namin lahat ng problemang dumating saamin. Ngunit, nag kamali ako. Nag kamali ako sa puntong 'yon.

You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss goodnight

You're still the one

Yeah (you're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss goodnight

I'm so glad we made it
Look how far we've come my baby

Hindi ko napansin na may tumutulo na palang luha sa mga mata ko. Siguro nga damang dama ko lang yung kanta. It was like a knife attacking my heart. Na mga atakeng hindi ko magawang sanggain. Maging ako ay nahihirapan na patigilan sila.

I saw at Elise's IG story that they are together. Again. I wouldn't wonder na. Nagiging manhid na ako pag dating na sa ganitong bagay. Ayoko na. Ayoko na makaramdam ng ganitong sakit.

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@haileytan

haileytan Noon, ako ang sanhi ng mga ngiting galing sa iyong mukha.

Bakit ngayon ay tila hindi na ako ang dahilan sa likod ng mga ngiting 'yan?







Mahal ko, bakit tila nag bago lang lahat. Senyales na ba ito na sumuko na?

(Only me)

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