Flipped (L.T.)

Chapter 44: Tired of Tears

"Lou, Lou!"

"Open up, Louis." The twins whine, banging against my door. "Please come out. We want to see you."

I ignore their cries, turning over in my bed to face the wall. They've been at this for at least an hour, constantly nagging me to come out. I've been cooped up in here since I got home. I don't want to see anyone, talk to anyone, or remotely close to other beings; not even the girls. They'll only remind me of her and shes the last thing I want on my mind; if at all at this point.

I've honestly never been more fed up in my life. I feel as though shes crossed the line, more like jumped over that shit like her life depended on it. I only had one request: that she not be with Gabriel. And she swore to me that she wasn't, that it was only me she wanted. But she lied, again, right to my face. She omitted the fact she was going under false pretenses. Or true- hell, I don't even know whats the truth from lies with Eliza any more.

She lied about London, lied about how she got in, lied about who she was going with. She just cant help but lie and lie again. This is a constant pattern with us. She fibs like she breathes and I cant take it anymore.

I cant handle questioning whether she'll be honest with me or not; or having to go to a third party to check to see if the information shes given me is true or false. I should be able to ask her anything and get a direct answer. She asked me about Marilyn and I told her everything without a stutter. Why? Because I value her trust in me. Eliza on the other hand, doesn't seem to know what the hell that is.

She could tell me it was raining outside and I would step out myself just to see if it was accurate. Everything's shes told me, or said is under question now.
Did Noah really hit her? Is her life really that shitty? Was she even really a virgin when we had sex? I haven't a bloody clue! I reckon she made the half the stuff up just to get my attention.

I slam my fist against the bed, the plush mattress absorbing the blow. I'm so frustrated that its overwhelming me. I feverishly wipe the acid tears away. I wont cry for her; not someone who had total disregard for me. I cant possibly be laying here crying over such betrayal. I'm supposed to be a man yet I feel as small and defenseless like a shell. An empty, washed up shell thats been squashed by the filthy shoes of Eliza Gardley.

I knew where this path would take me and yet I still chose the road not taken. I took a chance thinking I could control the outcome. But I couldn't. I was misguided and fueled by fruitless hope that provoked my childish dream. I was stupid to say the least, to even dwell on such aspirations.

We obviously weren't on the same page afterall. I wanted more, she just wanted to be selfish and take any hand-out she could. Eliza's sold her soul to the devil and the only explanation she can give me for it, is nothing since she couldn't look me in the damn eye afterwards.

No one can say I didn't try. I have multiple times and always ended with the same outcome. I wont take the blame for this and say I was too rash or forceful. No, it was all her this time. It was her decision and the statement she made couldn't be more profound. We're finished; over and done with. If I never saw her face again, it'd be too soon.

I need time to forget, time to restore, time to try and get to my life before she came and ruined it all. Before she flipped my world upside down and tore it apart. I wish she never returned, that she stayed in whatever dirty mound she crawled out of. That girl has my heart in binds and refuses to set me free. I cant help but love her still, but I despise her with all my heart as well. I've never hated someone so passionately until now. And it wasn't like in primary school when I just disliked her because she was weird and stalked me. But I had a reason; she'd broken my heart and gave it to Gabriel to wave in front of me. No wonder he gave me that smug look when he picked her up. He knew.