Flipped (L.T.)

Epilogue

I sat by myself for many days, wondering what went wrong and how I could've done things differently. I had dreams of reconnecting with Eliza and even went so far as to acquire her number so I could in real life too. But when I got it, I realized that it would do nothing. I realized that by calling Eliza, I would only confirm something I already knew: she had left, she didn't choose me, and she wouldn't be coming back. Why would I torture myself by trying to find answers I know she'll never give me? I'm better off accepting the fact that she just decided to move on and work my way up from there.

This wasn't how I wanted things to end between us. I thought we'd have this dramatic scene where we confessed our love and made up. I imagined myself seeing Eliza and when she met my gaze, I'd see the regret in her eyes and how she yearned for me too. Like I said, it was wishful thinking. I was playing myself the whole while along side Eliza. She never had that intention.

I'd like to call her a bitch and rant about how black her soul is- if she even had one to begin with, but I've done enough of that. I've actually run out of insults from the initial shock of her leaving. I was in a dark place, and my bitterness saw no limits. I didn't feel like myself. I did some things I'm not proud of and wont try to blame her for it anymore. I've moved on from that.

I focused all that energy in school and footy. When the seasons changed and spring returned, I immersed myself in the sport. Those were the only two subjects on my mind, other than my family. I grew closer to my mum again after I told her everything. She wasn't as upset as I thought she'd be and was very understanding. She helped me in ways I'll never be able to repay her. I missed that relationship with my mother. We also came to the agreement that I'd no longer take her advice on who to date.

After Eliza, I needed time to recooperate. It took me a long time to really enjoy myself again. The pain was still there but ached a little less every day. I'm thankful to have such a great support system. Only a select few know the full story but its enough. I'm tired of everyone knowing my business. No more "hot-shot Louis Tomlinson" gossip. I just want to spend as much time with my mates until I'm off for university under the radar. It wasn't too hard with the all the drama that followed Marilyn Rossie that year.

Due to my efforts, I was offered to attend top-of-the-line schools around the country; even some in the states. But one in particular caught my interest; one that just so happened to be located in the popular city of London. I surprised myself when I chose it. I guess deep down I had the small hope that I'd run into Eliza again.
Knowing that she was somewhere in that city, possibly walking by me the moment I turned away or rounding the corner when I looked up, excited me.

I don't really know what I would've done if my plan succeeded. Would she remember me? Would I recognize her? I thought about this daily and day after day, I grew more anxious. I was so curious to know how her schooling was going; how her life turned out; if she was finally fulfilled. And most all, I wanted to ask if it was all worth it. The lies, the love, the pain; was it all worth it in the end and did she find what she was looking for? Then I'd be able to completely move on and know that I didn't lose her for nothing. I'd know that out of our affair, she gained the happiness that I just couldn't give her.

I waited for that day, but it never came. I never saw Eliza again. As more years passed, her memory became fuzzier and felt more like a dream than real life. Those blazing eyes grew fainter and her sultry gaze was less than a memory. She was more of a tall-tale; one of those random stories brought up at a bonfire you try to reminisce over, but cant quite remember the details. By that time I was too distracted by someone new and to put much effort in remembering.

Things were going smooth for once and my life had just put itself back together. Thats when she came back into my life...again.

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It wont be written right away because I want to take a break from writing for a bit but there WILL be a sequel!!

I'll let yall know any other news when it comes but until then, ciao my loves ;)

~Samy<3

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