The Brunette Luxe

Chapter Thirteen: P.R.E

Twenty minutes went by before either of us spoke. We sat there, opposite each other just drinking in the silence. I looked at the man in front of me and noticed the familiar kindness in his eyes. The past had definitely been painful, but something about him had me hoping that one day I would find a love that I could breathe with endlessly. I knew part of my heart was still in love with Kyle but I had to protect it. I couldn’t allow even the tiniest sliver of hope to enter, every time I did, I ended up broken. I was the first to break the silence and as the words escaped my mouth, I wished I had maintained the silence.

“So you have me for 24 hours, what is it that you want to do?” I felt the tremble in my voice take over my body.

“I want you to get changed into something more comfortable. You don’t have to wear anything spectacular. I just want you to be comfortable.” He whispered. I struggled with myself, I was on guard in my costume. Nothing could hurt me as long as I was playing the role of a call girl, but if I changed I would become Antonia again. I wasn’t sure I could handle anything emotional if I wasn’t prepared but I wanted to give myself a fighting chance, even if nothing happened between Kyle and me from this moment forward, I at least wanted to be able to say I tried.

“Okay, You’ve paid for the time after all” I heard the snide remark leave me mouth as I stood up. I knew I was still trying to hurt him. I watched as he flinched at the coldness in my voice and felt mildly guilty. I walked into the suite and towards the walk-in robe. I hadn’t really packed anything casual other than a pair of jeans and a white tank top. I was worried that the outfit would remind Kyle of who I used to be but knew that it was the only thing that wouldn’t draw too much attention to me. I changed quickly and threw the dress I had been wearing into the bathroom, mentally reminding myself that I would have to throw it away. I couldn’t wear it again after the nights revelations. I took off my heels and picked up my cream strappy sandals, Once they were on I walked towards the mirror. As I looked at the reflection in front of me I wanted to throw something to shatter the remains of the dried tears that had stained my perfected makeup. I opted for a makeup wipe instead and began scraping away my mask with more pressure than necessary. Four wipes later I looked at myself again and saw the past staring back at me. I hadn’t aged at all, my clear face was so familiar to me but the only thing that had changed drastically was the look in my eyes, it was hard, determined and stronger than it had been back then. I turned away, grabbing my bag, emptying the contents of my clutch inside and walked back out to the lounge room. The moment I came around the corner I heard Kyle’s breath hitch. That was the reaction I was expecting when I opened the door but hadn’t achieved. I watched as he stood, walking towards me confidently before taking my hand in his. I didn’t flinch but I also didn’t stop him.

“Antonia, you still make my heart melt. I will never get over you.” I watched a faint smile creep across his face and in that moment my heart melted just a little as his words resonated in my head.

* * * *

I had never been to Paris before. I didn’t know what to expect but in the current circumstances I didn’t really care. I had no luggage, no life, just a passport and a broken heart. Nick had kept his distance from me and heard my silent sobs the entire plane ride. My heart was shattered but I couldn’t look back. I had nothing left in Australia and it was time I started accepting it. I spent a week holed up in a hotel in the city, crying my eyes out. I refused any calls that came in and checked in under a different name. The hotel manager took one look at me when we arrived and agreed to make sure that no one bothered me. He must have felt sorry for me because as I handed my passport over, he still agreed to check me in under a false name. The week after I checked in I began feeling a little more like myself, the pain had dulled slightly and I felt like hitting the bar...hard.