Bad Kind of Butterflies ♧ DazaiXReaderXDOA

5. Invitations

"Help me be free then, Kolya"

Your voice is sweet and smooth, a huge contrast from your previous stuttering nervousness. You push some of your hair away from your face, looking up into Nikolai's grey-ish eyes, only shying away your gaze for a second. You doubted you could truly have any effect on him, nor could you probably surprise him the way he did you, but you were confident you could throw him off just a little in your favour.

Playing games with the decay of angels is dangerous...but this is hardly a game, just some Nikolai-favoured fun.

His laughter stops, but his smile is still there when looks you over, curiosity wild and embedded in him.

"Free, you say? Even I'm still waiting to be truly free. An eternal bliss..."

You feel yourself lean in out of suspense of every word he said, but then Nikolai steps back and claps his hands together, snapping you out of it.

"Oh! I almost forgot! Dos wants to see you tomorrow. You'll be given the correct room number tomorrow too...That's a promise! Then you won't have to be snooping, myshka!" He cracks up, taking his hat and bowing to you before using his cape to disappear into thin air like a true magician. You hear him say that he looks forward to playing with you again as he disappears completely, and an odd squeeze takes up your heart.

This all feels like a mess just waiting to tumble down on my shoulders.

---

Later in the day, when you returned to the casino floor distracted and with reluctance, you finished the remaining of your work and got stuck doing some extra runs before you were actually allowed to retire for the night. Working the later shifts was something you often didn't do, but it in no way meant you weren't in tune with the night's rhythm.

A casino is never totally quiet.

It's always been interesting to you, the way the hearts under the moon were different from the ones in the sun. Their internal songs are so inconsistent, secretive; but even then, it all worked harmoniously together. To you, it was one of the best times of your waking hours, to see the place work without a trace of need for your presence.

It almost proves to me that if I want to be a part of something, even life, I have to make my own way. Nothing is out and waiting for my return, ever.

That's just the way it is.

Which means I've done something right by making a place for me to find true living.

Unconcerned with what happens once you leave the scene, you take a hot, soothing shower and get a change of clothes from your uniform to something much more comfortable. As you do so, your mind wanders into the run in with Nikolai, his playful manner sending an out of place chill down your spine, but even more so, your heart skips a beat at the thought of the promise that you'd see Fyodor tomorrow. Was it fear? You weren't sure, the same way you felt so many mixed emotions towards the decay of angel's being.

Ready to lay in your soft blankets and sleep, you were hit with the sudden realization that you would not be sleeping anytime soon. Your thoughts were everywhere, and simply would not let you rest.

This is all your fault Nikolai. You and...and Fyodor coming and going as you please.

You don't leave my thoughts in peace.