A Day Called Tomorrow

Signaling

      More and more I continue to think about Fynr'ir. Soon I was depressed. In bed, all day, not having contact with the outside world, just like how it had been when I was in a coma, and in the forest. 

      The Forest had given me thoughts about my sanity. I seriously began to question my ability in this world. This world was so different, and cruel, just like how I had remembered it before my coma. I still couldn't believe I had gotten into a coma, I thought I was stronger than that.

      I suppose I should have just stayed in my apartment my whole life, though eventually rent was due, and I didn't have any money to pay it off. I had to evict myself, and begin my life instead, on the road. 

      I traveled a lot more. Sleeping on benches, and sitting down, begging for money from people. People didn't expect me to live as long as I did, I was really homeless now. 

      I kept traveling, hoping maybe I'd make it to the forest... Maybe I'd get back to my real home. Depression overtook me, and all I saw was sadness in everything. I couldn't help breaking down and crying everytime I passed by the stuffed animal shop. They reminded me too much of the creatures in The Forest. 

      I was now completely alone. I hadn't talked for at least a year now. That's how long I've been on the road, how long I haven't seen Fynr'ir and The Forest. The meadow... The sweet poppy flowers that were red, and grew so beautifully. I wanted to go back so badly. Though alas, I knew my body restricted me from doing so. I was scared of death.

      I was now sleeping in the grass, hugging myself, and trying to keep warm this cool winter night. I gazed up at the stars, wishing ever so gently as to go up there... To be a star, shining bright instead of slowly decaying down here. I slowly closed my eyes, trying to sleep, trying to get myself away from this world.

      I clutched the box cutter in my hands. A last resort that was more of a luxury in my hands. It was the key to freedom. And in that moment, I seriously considered it. But no, I held on, and eventually I fell asleep. 

     

      My dreams were forgotten in the morning. I didn't remember anything that happened, and that's probably for the best. I was clutching the box cutter even tighter now, as if my subconcious was trying to speak to me. I clicked it, it's razor edge beckoning me to my death. Was I ready for death? 

      I looked up, I was completely alone... Maybe death wouldn't be so bad... I'd vanquish sadness forever, not ever being sad again, not ever having to worry to murder... Ever again. I seriously considered dying in that moment, my thoughts running through me like wildfire, burning down a forest.. Engulfing it in flames.

      A sweet black marker I had owned sat in a box in a cottage that was located on a bunny filled meadow. The dark side of the meadow had more cottages, a table of crystal glass in each of them, signaling their royalty. A hole in the ground lay, a coffin in it's midst, a dead body of a person lay within. Now I was gone from this world, dreading ever to come back, though it'd never happen. The dark abyss gave me three, coma. Years to be exact. Engulfed in darkness was I now, poor me who lay thinking of these things. A staring contest I had with my one true love was just a year ago- the last life contact I had in a very long time. A box cutter, clutched in my hands. Signaling what I was about to do.