BAEK KYUNG Just A Human Being

Thank You

BAEK KYUNG:

Baek Kyung slowly walked to his mother's memorial site. He laid down her favourite flowers in front of it. For a long while he just stared at the flowers because he couldn't bring himself to look at her. The flowers were arranged very artistically: the vivid colours complementing each other, the balance of green leaves and the harmony created by their mesmerising shapes and textures. If his mom could've see them, she would've really appreciated the creativity and attention to detail put in it, as a fellow artist herself. The moment he looked at the urn filled with her ashes his throat started clogging up with held back tears. His eyes shifted to the picture next to it: she was smiling beautifully while hugging him. All the memories of that day came back to him and he almost cried. He missed his mom. She was the one person who had truly ever loved him. He wished he could go back in time just to tell her how thankful he was towards her, for giving birth to him, for raising him and for her unconditional love. He felt immensely sorry towards her because he could never repay her back. He wished she didn't have to leave the world in such a painful way. The ball of bitterness stuck at the back of his throat was hard to swallow, but it had been over a decade. An awfully long time: he hated that he couldn't remember her face in details without a picture.

Suddenly someone zoomed past him making him jump internally. To his shock and surprise, it was Eun DanOh. She put the flowers she had brought next to his on the ground, and stood next to him "Ma'am. I really wish I had better news than this, but Baek Kyung's turned into a real jerk and a bully" she began "He's become carefree, he skips classes and he's so rude to everyone. But seeing how he's here to pay respect to you today, I guess he's not a complete jerk, after all."

He was taken aback by her rant. He watched her close her eyes, put her hands together and pray. He didn't bother praying, he was sure the writers of their world didn't hear them anyway, if they had, his life would've been very different now.

They went to lunch together afterwards. He asked her "How did you know?"

"Know what?" she asked as she drank some water.

"That today's my mom's death anniversary?" Baek Kyung explained.

She shrugged "It was around this time of the year when your mom passed away, the autumn leaves were turning into beautiful yellow and orange colours" she didn't want to tell him that the writer had put it as an important memo on her cellphone and that's how she had found out. She was sure he'd be very offended if he knew she did things for him out of pity "I remember how you cried that day" she reminisced "I don't think I've ever seen anyone sob like that to this day."

She noticed Baek Kyung's grateful expression and felt bad for the mixed insincerity, so she kept on talking "When you were little you were really cute: you cried easily, you smiled easily and you had great manners. I don't know how you turned out this way."

He scoffed "Seems like I also only have you." He felt comforted for the first time in a long time.

"What do you mean?" she questioned.

"Someone who remembers me...both in the stage and outside of it too."

She tasked "Gosh. Did you just realise that?"

He looked a her "Eun DanOh. You're the only person who really knows me" he really looked into her eyes, for her soul "You've always shown your smiley and happy self in front of me, I'm sorry I ever took such a precious thing for granted."

DanOh was shocked and unable to respond back.

"Let's go, I'll give you a ride" he told her when his throat started getting clogged up with emotion. He got up, put her bag over his shoulder and started walking. He didn't ever want to get emotional in front of her, he wanted to be strong for her, he wanted to always be her rock. He really cared for her. She was all he had. He hoped it wasn't too late for them because he truly loved her.

The next day in school DanOh was back. And every corner he turned, he saw her holding hands with Haru or hugging him. Of course that hurt him. In a way, he couldn't even fully distinguish all the hurt he was feeling: he'd been hurting for so long that it all started to blur together. It felt like a precious memory was tainted: he found himself wishing she had not come to him at the cemetery just the day before, it had gotten his hopes up when there was nothing to be hopeful about. Every time he had gotten hopeful, the harder he felt wrecked than the previous time. A never ending torture. For every step he took to close the distance between them, five more were taken to make it bigger.