Adopted

Chapter 24 ~I'm Barely Alive~

****WARNING, SAD CHAPTER. I NEVER WARN YOU USUALLY BUT I WANNA MAKE IT EXTRA SAD****
ERINS POV
"You've reached Christian, I can't make it to the phone right now, or I'm ignoring you. BEEEP"
"Um, C-Christian, I know I haven't talked to you since before I was in the coma.... and I know you're a dick, b-but I really feel horrible right now and I-I need so-someone to talk t-to so can you c-call me b-back"
I hung up. im sitting against the wall crying.
I held my head in my hands. I can't believe I trusted him again. I can't believe myself.
He's probably making up an excuse.
he's gonna call someone else princess now, he's gonna dedicate his love to someone else. He doesn't love me anymore.
I layed my head on my knees. Why God? Why did you do this to me?
I sobbed and shook violently.
Why am I alive?
Why does God hate me?
I walked out of my room and went into the kitchen. no one was awake.
I grabbed a knife and ran back upstairs I stood infront of my mirror, and stabbed myself in the stomach.
I left it there.
I cried out in pain.
I grabbed my blade and carved "whore" into my stomach.
I took the knife out and ran to my window, stood on my window sill.
"IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT WORLD? YOU FINALLY WIN! YOU GET WHAT YOU FUCKING WANT! I HOPE YOURE HAPPY!" I screamed.
My door swung open.
"Erin" Louis breathed out in shock.
I turned around.
"GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" I screamed at him.
"Get down.. Please"
"NO! I WANT TO DIE! I HATE MYSELF! I HATE MYSELF!" I sobbed.
I turned back around, I was about to jump. I got really dizzy. I started falling forward.
I was just about to fall when a pair of arms wrapped around me and pulled me off the window sill. "LOUIS LET ME GO! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!? I JUST WANT TO DIE! LIFE IS A FUCKING LIE!" I screamed, thrashing in his arms.
He took me to the bathroom to clean my stab wound.
"STOP!" I screamed.
Louis help me down on the corner and started cleaning.
"FUCK YOU!" I screamed. I was bawling.
I just wanted to die.
Why couldn't he have let me die?
*******
I sat on the couch by the window of my hospital room.
Yes, I'm in a mental hospital.
My nurse walked in.
"Close the door" I muttered. she nodded.
"How do you feel today" she asks me, like everyday.
"I'm barely alive" I answered
"Are you taking your medication?"
"Yes"
"How's your depression today"
"I just want to leave okay?" I asked
"I'm sorry but you can't until we think you're better" she answered.
"I'm not dead am I? So I'm better" i retorted.
"I want to go home" I huffed.
"Fine.. I guess you can go home" she sighed in defeat.
I looked her in the eyes "Seriously?" I asked.
"Yes. You show signs that's you've improved" she said.
I was ecstatic.
I jumped up and hugged her "THANK YOU" I breathed.
"You're welcome. pack your stuff!" She called on her way out.
I immediately started packing. I couldn't wait to get home.
The only thing that was killing me? Niall.
Everything was packed.
LOUIS showed up and picked me up from that hell hole.
I hopped out of the car as soon as I got home.
I walked through the front door and saw the boys sitting on the couch, Liam with Sophia, Zayn with Perrie, Eleanor was there, Harry by himself, poor haz, and Niall... With a random girl.
"Hey" i sheepishly said.
"OH MY GOD E! YOURE BACK!" HARRY cried out and hugged me tight.
"Haha yea I'm back" I smiled.
"Hey Soph! El! Lottie! PERRIE! Oh my god! your back!!!" I squealed and hugged her.
The girl on the end cleared her throat.
"Ummmm I haven't met you before, what's your name?" I asked her sweetly.
"Tiffany" she said plainly looking at her nails.
"Okkk. I'm Erin" I smiled. "whateves" she shrugged.
I wanted to punch her.
"Niall" I nodded at him and walked upstairs carrying my suitcase.
I unpacked and sat on my bed. "shh she's right next door we gotta be quiet baby" I heard Niall say. I about threw up.
"Okay" she giggled.
I decided I'd be a tattle tale tonight.
I waited till I heard moans and smirked.
I walked downstairs.
"Daaaad NIALLS fućking that girl in his room and I can hear it" I complained.
Louis face turned to anger as he stormed upstairs, I followed.
He opened the door to see two naked bodies.
"NIALL JAMES HORAN! YOU CAN FUCK YOUR SLUT WHEN NO ONES HOME. BUT YOURE DISTURBING US!" He yelled. Niall and that slut groaned and got dressed.
NIALL looked straight at me and I smirked and waved to him. His face turned into pure anger. I laughed.
I went back in my room.
20 minutes later my door slammed open and closed.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" Niall yelled
"You were bothering me" I shrugged.
"YOU COST ME MY RELATIONSHIP! YOU COST ME THE ONLY PERSON WHO I LOVED AND THE ONLY PERSON WHO LOVED ME"
That. Hurt.
"What the hell! So what you're saying that our whole relationship was a lie? You never loved me? I loved you so fucking much. I gave you my all. You know what? I hate you. I hate you and your perfect smile, cute hair, adorable lips, funny personality, but mostly, I hate myself for believing you gave two shits about me" I spat at him.
And he slapped me.
"You were a mistake. you meant nothing to me. I never loved you" he spat back.
I punched him in the face.
He tackled me to the ground and slammed my head into the floor.
"LISTEN NOW, DONT YOU EVER SWING AT ME!" He screamed and stormed out.
I, with much effort, grabbed my phone and texted lottie to come here.
"what happened?!?" She panicked
"Niall beat me"
"That boy will be beat the shit out of by me I swear to fucki-" "don't lottie, he'll hurt you. It's my fault he broke up with me and beat me" I sighed
"NO ITS NOT WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? HE IS FUCKED UP IN THE HEAD OKAY YOURE TE BEST PERSON EVER!" She screamed.
I just let it go so she'd be happy.
But I'm still barely alive.
I can't breathe right..
He stepped on my ribs.
Lottie lifted me into bed and covered me up. and I found sleep.
*****
Nialls POV
What did I just do?
Oh my god... I can't believe..
I'm such a horrible person...
Why did I do that? She did nothing wrong? Was I mad about the miscarriage?
I sat on my bed and cried.
I hate myself for that. i hate myself.
I crawled into my bed and cried myself to sleep, hoping maybe I wouldnt wake up.
*
I woke up, to my disadvantage.

I got dressed and went downstairs.

Lottie kept shooting me dirty looks, she knew.

Erin avoided me. she flinched whenever I came near. But worst of all, she had a black and blue mark where my hand had slapped her.

I can't imagine what her ribs look like.

I barely ate breakfast.

I'm such a douche.

I got up from the island and walked back up to my room.

As soon as I got there I caught a glimpse of the box on my night stand...

My 2 year gift for her.

I grabbed it and looked at it.

Now I know what you're thinking and no, I wasn't going to propose.

It was just a bracelet that had "N.J.H+E.M.T"

Instead of throwing this away I started writing a note
~
'Erin,

I know yesterday was inexcusable, but what I said wasn't true. I don't know why I was mad but I wasn't mad at you, I was mad at myself and I took it out on you and I absolutely hate myself for it.
It was almost our 2 year.. and I did get you a gift. It's in the box this is taped to.

I'm really honestly sorry Erin, I really am...

-Niall, the douche'
~
I taped it to the box and snuck in her room. I set it on her nightstand and went back into my room to figure out how to handle myself.
******
ERINS POV(sorry for all the POV changes)

I walked into my room.

There was a box with a note taped to it.

I read the note. i almost cried. when I opened the box I saw a beautiful bracelet that said "N.J.H+E.M.T"

I covered my mouth to muffle my sobs.

I loved it.

But I can't forgive Niall for what he did...
Like he said, it was inexcusable.

I mean... He fucking beat me...

I can't forgive him... I mean not yet atleast..

And not this easy.

I texted NIALL
~
To: Niall

Thank you for the gift I really liked it
~
I sent it and grabbed my laptop. I decided to do a live stream.

"@Erin_Tommo: twitcam in a few!"

I started the stream and many people started watching.

"Hey guys, ask me some questions please and I'll answer"

@ZiamsWeed: are you and NIALL still together.

I looked down...

"U-Uh, no w-we arent. im sorry guys I gotta go" I choked out and stopped it.

I started crying, something I've been sound a lot lately...

God why is life so pressuring

***************************

UPDATE COMPLETE GOSH THIS CHAPTER MADE ME CRY IM SO SORRY DONT KILL ME OMG I WARNED YOU OKAY OKAY

-Sydneyyyy