High School Hitlist

Matt

Imma be honest. You were a really, really nice guy when we met. You were everything that I wanted to date: tall, smart and you had nice, light, chocolate-brown eyes. And omg was I so grateful to have someone want to talk to me and get to know me and be interested in the things I was interested in. And when you texted my bestfriend that night before the dance and asked her advice on how to ask me out was the cutest shit ever. And even though I would've liked my first kiss to be in a less public area, it was still nice and not anticipated. I loved it, and my best friend can testify to that considering I almost squeezed the life out of her hand on the car ride home because I was so happy.

The dates were still great even though we would run out of stuff to talk about because we were both still in school and weren't really doing anything exciting at the time. But going to the movies and laughing with you made up for that. And trust me, I know that if I could relive that date at Portside, I would have done everything differently. I would have talked more about how delicious the pizza was more than my problems at school. When it started to rain I would've started to dance in the rain like a weirdo instead of being a wuss and running back undercover. And when we were standing undercover just talking and I was leaning against the pole, I would have asked you to kiss me... But I didn't – and that's the part I regret the most about the relationship. And even though a few months after that when you 'may or may not have met someone else' (ya did and my bestfriend's FBI hacker skills can back me up) and decided to break up with me in a text and in a one minute phone call, I still felt like it was my fault that I screwed us up.

I regret not kissing you first, I regret not letting myself be comfortable around you, and I fucking regret saying that I would fine if we broke up and staying friends because the moment we ended that phone call my bestfriend saw me cry for the first time ever... and it was over you. So I don't still keep snapchat streaks with you because I'm your "friend"; I do it so that one day when I find another boyfriend, a picture of him kissing me will be last streak you get from me. And maybe, you'll get the same feeling I did when you ended the one minute phone call.

You are a snake. You made me see a sight that I never wanted to see which was my best friend crying. You better hope that we don't run into each other because there are a few words that I would say to you and none of them would be nice.