Joy of Missing Out

Chapter 5: Baby, I loved you first

It's odd not being with your significant other on Valentine's Day. But I was. Wonder how Eleanor celebrated it. I never asked her that. Probably should've because we were in Paris doing promo when all the questions we got were about our girlfriends and I was the only one in a relationship. That one for the cameras and the one with Harry.

Speaking of love, we were in the city of love and no better way to start the day in Paris than with wine. Cheers to Liam, who decided to be the least responsible for the day and sneaked a flask in the back of our van. We took turns being rowdy – obviously I contributed the most – so that Paul wouldn't become suspicious and everyone could have a few sips. It didn't get us drunk. Liam scarcely put enough for one round. I liked seeing the guys tipsy. It's amazing how little they needed to see a change in their behavior. It reflected later during interviews, but not sufficiently for Paul to come sniff us like a police dog. Once I got in trouble for overdrinking. Simon really used the opportunity to fly me out to LA to tell me off for drinking but also to threaten me and Harry. I flew out of LA with a headache, but not from drinking.

Just before Harry and I were about to go in for our first and last solo interview, I overheard something that significantly improved the rest of the day. Lou was brushing Harry's hair when I went to the toilet. When I came back, it was Liam's turn to get his hair styled and Harry's therapy session had just started. The door was slightly opened, as I had left it. I could see a couch where Zayn, Harry and Niall were sitting. I was about to barge in and scare them. I'm glad I didn't.

"Man, you love him," Zayn teased him.

"I mean... Of course I do."

"And he loves you!" he jerked his shoulder and Harry smiled.

"No, he doesn't" he refused to admit so it was time for me to rush in.

"Yes I do," I said.

I am sure I looked more than happy in all interviews and photo calls that followed because, with each one done, I was closer to being alone with Harry. Even on international promo tours we had to have separate bedrooms, although it was more expensive. However, we always managed to sneak out so ultimately we used only one to two rooms. In Paris, Harry slept in my room so after the long day of press, we had to wait for Paul and the rest of our team to go to bed before he could come to my room. Fans found our hotel but by the end of the day they had them escorted away so that we and all other hotel guests could have a good night's sleep. We planned to pull an all-nighter. We had the other boys join us for a while but they too were tired and went to sleep soon.

When Harry and I were finally left alone, the inevitable discussion came up. We lovingly bickered about a lot of things. Then I uttered some very important words.

"I do love you."

"I don't question it."

Harry blushed and looked down. He smiled but nervously paced in place. I was inches away from his face but he didn't look up so I helped him look me in the yes by placing my hands on his cheeks. His face was hot and mine was starting to feel that as well. We smiled innocently at each other and, after some suspense, Harry replied.

"I love you."

We've been dating for over a year so it felt like the perfect time to confess these feelings for each other. I remembered how I could've ruined it all, had I come in a moment before or later his talk with Zayn. Neither of us ever doubted our affection but we were both afraid and felt too young to officially declare it. The fear came from the uncertainty of the success of One Direction and all the rules we had to follow. I thought of my anxiety the night in the X Factor house when Harry ensured me nothing would change. A year later, we were going strong, both the band and the two of us. We never had the talk about the possibility of disbanding. It was going to well. But the fear never left my side and now I conquered it.

After the I love yous, every touch felt different. Every kiss was more passionate because it was certain that what we had were strong feeling for each other. So when we hugged after the confessions naturally we ended up in bed. I was analyzing his happy eyes, our faces so close we touched our noses. Then I gave him a kiss and we hugged for a long time. We woke up in the same position but with no clothes. 

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I know I said no sex scenes but I tease you at the end of almost every chapter. Sorry?

Q: (don't start a war in the comments!) Who tops?