Not Human

chapter 18

As I walked into the canteen at lunch, every head turned to me. I could hear people silencing themselves, trying to hide whatever conversation they were having about me. It reminded me of when I first came to this school so long ago, when queen Tasha pointed her delicate little finger at me. I was suddenly on their radar.

I did my best to ignore it, avoiding eye contact as much as I could. I had gotten to the lunch queue, eyes following my every step. I was surrounded by people, all of them acknowledging me. And yet, I had never felt so alone. Not while trenching scorching hot lands, not while huddling for warmth while camped outside a demon fort, not ever.

I couldn't take it. I turned on my heels and ran out, passing everyone in the blur of hazed eyes.

I found myself outside, sitting on the cold grass, looking up into the tall trees. I didn't cry. Demons don't cry. And deep down, I knew that was all I was. A weak, tierd demon. I wasn't really sure how long I had been there, in all honesty. But eventually I felt a cold, small hand resting on my shoulder.

I looked up, watching as Becky sat down across from me, her pink hair blowing slightly and her arms wrapped around herself, holding onto the small, pale jacket that hung badly against her frame.

"Hey, Rina." she sighed. I frowned in confusion.

"Hey..." I answered cautiously.

"Look, Rina." she breathed. "We all know you're upset and all," she paused, trying to word what she wanted to say, "and you don't like fighting with Charlie. I'm not denying that." she raised her hand as she spoke.

"What do you want?" I asked irritantly.

"I don't think fighting Cole is such a good idea." She pushed, finally making eye-contact for the first time since she arrived. She looked tierd and sad, her normally soft eyes sharp and wary.

"What do you suggest then, Becky?" I said, shaking my head. "You've seen how he treats her, how the hell could you sit back and let it happen?" Suddenly, all the anger and pain filled my voice. Every second Charlie was hurt or sad and I had been powerless to stop it, flowing through my words like water through a stream.

"Don't you dare..." she started, her voice raising as she spoke until she cut herself off, shaking her head as if dismissing what she was about to say. "Don't ever try to suggest that I'm okay with any of it ever again." she warned, voice shaking.

"I didn't mean... I just..." I breathed deeply. "she doesn't deserve it." I Mutter, toying with the cold grass. "She means alot to me, okay?" I say sincerely, not really sure why I was saying it or where it had come from within me.

"I know." Becky said, a sympathtic tone lacing each word. "She doesn't want you to fight though. She won't stop talking about it." I looked back up at her, frowning.

"What dose she care? She hates me now." I say, confused, my voice cracking slightly.

"Did you really think that?" she smiles. I don't. "If you think she would spend so much time around somebody she hated, you must be insane." She laughed. I had no idea what she was talking about, she had been avoiding me since we fought.

"What on earth are you talking about?" I asked, angerly. She seemed... shocked. Shocked at what I had said or at how cruely i said it? 

"Nevermind. I thought you'd be willing to talk about it but I guess not." She muttered stiffly standing back up. "And I doubt theres any talking you out of this fight, but... Don't get hurt." She glanced back at the school. "For her sake."

"That's the plan." I muttered calmly, although, really, I didnt have one.

***

The final bell felt more like a funeral march rather than freedom in a single, nontone note. For the people around me, though, it was something glorious. An oppertunity to clench a blood thirst, I guessed. How in hell could the humans claim to be so different to us?

I shoveled my books into my black bag harshly. And yet, I was still one of the last ones out of the classroom. I tried to leave when Mr. Stan, the same teacher who has slammed his books at me days before stopped me with a cold, sern "Smith." 

I whipped around, to see him sitting on his desk in the way old teachers trying to be "cool" do. His gray, bolding head wasnt helping really, giving him more of a comical apperance. "yeah?" I asked. 

"I've been hearing word of a fight after school today." He said, not breaking eye-contact.

"Have you now." I sang back. "How exciting." He raised a single eye-brow at me, not appricating the upbeat reply.

"Rina, you dont have to fight anyone you know. You can tell a teacher of someone is bothering you." I smirked.

"What would a teacher even do?" I asked. 

"Stop the problem." He said sincerly. "If it's serious they could get suspended." 

"Yeah?" I nodded, tierd of people trying to stop me from fighting. Why did they even think it was any of their business? Did they think I was weak? Did they think I couldnt handle Cole and co? 

"Yes, we could." He replyed, nodding enthusiastically.

"Well, you can't suspend half the school, Sir." I spat. "I have some reading to catch up on, if you dont mind." I say, begining to turn and leave.

"Just think about it." He called out after me. I wiped my nose on my sleeve. I didn't cry. Demons don't cry. And deep down, I knew that was all I was.

Except I have cried. Only one person, one angel, could ever make me cry. And I knew she would be the reason I would cry again. One way or another, and no stupid human fight would ever take her place.

A/N sorry that this took so long but... Just... School man. School sucks. Next chapter is something a bit different, which is the one I was talking about on tumblr and in the comments. Hopefully you'll appreciate the change of pace and what not. Thank you so much for reading!