Jacked UP!! (Hunter x Hunter: Illumi x OC x Hisoka)

Chapter 02: Damn Quizzes and Promises

Chapter 02: Damn Quiz and Promises
Written by: Dreamer Of Clouds

***

Arie Kadan's P.o.V.
Three Days Later...

It's a beautiful day outside.

The sun is shining. The birds are chirping. And the sad, sad souls that are stupid enough to piss off Illumi are lying on the ground, all knocked out. 

Idiots, I thought, rolling my eyes.

Leaning back on a tree, I watched as Ilumi gathered up all eleven bodies with one hand and half-bury them in the huge hole that he made not too long ago. With their heads sticking out, they looked like really ugly daffodils.

I couldn't help but smirk. Serves them right.

It had been two hours since Illumi and I left the port and headed towards the cedar tree that the ship's captain had pointed out. On the way to the said special cedar tree, we ran into these dumbasses. Apparently, they thought we didn't belong in the Exam and decided to take us on.

Something about us looking like circus freaks, and shaming the Exam's name.

Which really ticked me off.

But I let Illumi handle it since he wanted a warm-up. In the end, I just sat back, relaxed, and watched him kick their sorry butts. It was funny as hell. 

Illumi looked back at me and tilted his head with the cutest, most emotionless face possible. "Hey, Arie. Do you think this is okay? Or should I just completely bury them alive?"

"Nah, I think they should be good. Besides," I said, pushing off the tree and walking over to him. "If they were fully buried, I wouldn't be able to do this."

I bent down, took out a sharpie and began drawing fake mustaches on their faces. (Plus, an inappropriate male part on the group leader's forehead). If they were gonna do stupid things, they should look like stupid things.  Satisfied, I capped the marker and stood up with a happy expression.

"There," I said, flashing Illumi a very satisfied smile. "What do you think?"

The 24-year old Zoldyck didn't even crack a grin. If anything, he looked even more confused. "I don't get what you're trying to do, Arie."

"It's a joke," I explained enthusiastically, putting my marker away in my back pocket. "I'm trying to show everyone how dumb they are by drawing ridiculous things on their faces."

No response.

I raised an eyebrow. "Get it?"

Still, more confusion.

I sighed.

Oh, poor Illumi. He was never going to understand the world. At least, not this way. I mean, I knew he was a sheltered child and everything, but really? Who didn't find facial hair and male genitalia hilarious?

This was just sad...

"Oh!" Suddenly, Illumi's monotonous face lit up, as if he finally understood something. "I think I get it now."

I could barely hide the surprise on my face. "You do?"

"It's because your drawings are lopsided!" He pointed out cleverly. "Right?"

***

A while later, Illumi and I came across an abandoned town. The walls were beaten up and worn. The streets were cracked and unsanitary. And although it looked like no one has lived here for decades, I could still feel eyes on me.