Somewhere In Neverland

Chapter 12

I got up early the next day, 11am to be exact, and got dressed. Though I had no plans, doing nothing made me depressed.

I wasn't visiting Alex today. I couldn't. Yesterday's visit got to me on an unexpected level. I felt vulnerable seeing him in such a condition and what happened with Austin pushed the entire thing.

I kissed Alex. I had told him I loved him and I did... but I shouldn't... I couldn't.

Everyone would end up hurt.

Austin.

Jack.

My band.

Him.

Me.

And Jd.

Nobody could win once they entered this life of mine.

"Mommy?" Jd's voice called out from the bed.

I turned to face him and smiled. "Yes, sweety?" I asked.

His eyes were dull and sleepy, he had just woken up.

"You haven't played with me at all since your job started." he whispered.

I frowned.

I was a terrible mother!!!

"I know, how about you and I spend the entire day together? Just the two of us?" I asked.

His face lit up as he smiled at me.

"Yes!" he cheered and began dressing himself.

He was so independent... he definitely did not get that from me. Maybe Alex? Or Jack?

"What do you want to do first?" I asked him.

He giggled to himself as he thought.

"Can we get ice cream?" he asked.

Now that, that he definitely got from me.

"Ice cream? For breakfast?" I teased.

He laughed and hid his face with his small hands.

I laughed. "Of course, lets go."

His face lit up and immediately he ran towards me and hugged my waist. He then grabbed my hand and began dragging me out the door.

Just as I opened the door, there was Austin. The guilty look on his face showed that he remembered everything.

"Iris..." he started but I cut him off.

"I'm about to spend time with my son. I don't need this now." I spat.

He nodded and lowered his head.

"I'm sorry." he whispered as he walked the other way.

Jd looked between me and the floor, almost as if wanting to ask me something.

"Mommy?" his high voice asked.

I smiled in return.

"I don't want ice cream anymore." he whispered.

I frowned. "Why?"

"I just want one thing." he trailed off.

I looked at him, waiting for him to continue.

"I just want to go see the man in the hospital."

I looked at him quizzically.

"Why do you want to see him?" I asked.

He shrugged and looked at the ground, as if thinking I would get mad at him.

"Jd, why do you want to see him?" I repeated.

He shrugged once more.

"Jd..." I warned.

He sighed. "I can't tell you."

My own son no longer trusted me! Was I so bad of a person!?

"Okay." I whispered.

He looked up at me, his eyebrows furrowed together in confusion.

"Okay. We can go see Alex." I clarified.

He nodded and tried hiding his smile as we walked to the elevator.

________________

"Iris? What are you doing here? It's too early." Dr Chase said to me as he saw me walk up to him.

I sighed. "Jd wanted to see Alex." I whispered, nudging Jd with my hip.

Dr. Chase looked down at him and smiled.

"Its a good thing you chose today. He's awake and has been asking for for you."