Somewhere In Neverland

Chapter 21

I quickly ran over to Jd and picked him up, embracing him in an overprotective hug. I watched as Alex drove off as fast as he could, running from his problems just like he always did. Jack stayed back, still processing my confession... possibly my lie. He watched me attentively as I judged his every movement, afraid that he'd do the same thing Alex had. Jd uncontrollably cried into the crook of my neck, his tears causing stains on my sweatshirt. He was frightened, scared to an extreme. No kid should ever have to go through that. Stand defenseless while a "friend" attempts to rip you away from the only thing you've ever known. I'm all he knows. In his 3 years, nearly 4, of life... him and I, me and him.

"Iris?" Jack called out.

I narrowed my eyes as I stared in his direction. "Am I really the father?" He questioned.

I continued looking at him while he waited for a response. Could I tell him the truth? That I didn't really know who it was, that I didn't really care because I didn't want either of them in our lives.
I sighed in defeat, allowing all my built up strength to crumble in front of him. I cried desperately as I held Jd and I never wanted to let him go. He would always be safe in my arms. With me, nothing or anyone would hurt him, I wouldn't allow it.

"I don't know." I managed to whisper that simple phrase through my tears but Jack did not look the least bit surprised.

"It was back at Warped, right? When you and Alex..." He trailed off, as if it pained him to recall, or even acknowledge that Alex and I were once a summer romance.

I nodded and slowly slid down the wall, allowing myself to sit on the kitchen floor while still holding Jd in my arms. Jack came over and sat beside me.

"I'm sorry." he sighed into my ear as he hugged me in an overprotective kind of way. He wiped away my tears with his thumb and smiled down at me.

"For what?" my voice was low and barely audible over Jd's cries.

"For making you think that you couldn't tell me what you were going through." He grunted and placed his hand on my cheek, forcing me to look him in the eyes. "Iris, I know why you would think I didn't want children... because of what happened with Jenna. But you should have said something."

I shook my head and looked away.

Why? Why should I have said something, told someone other than my band when nobody cared but them. Saying something about my pregnancy wouldn't have made a difference.

"Maybe things would've been different?" he continued.

Why did everyone say that!? I knew Jack better than he knew himself and he was not ready to handle such responsibility. He wasn't ready to give up partying, to give up his binge drinking, to possibly put his career on hold because Jd came first for me. I also knew Alex better than he knew himself. He was not ready to handle such responsibility either. He wasn't ready to give up his "romantic nights," he wasn't ready to mature, he wasn't ready to put someone before his music and Jd needed someone that was.

"Jack... you have to promise me something." I looked down at Jd, rocking him back in forth in order to soothe him to sleep. He needed to rest, he had done far too many crying and was now exhausted.

"Anything." he smiled happily at me.

"No matter what the results... you're Jd's dad. Alex can't be... he can't."

He sighed. "I wish for nothing more than to be Jd's dad... but if the DNA results say different, I can't lie. If he is the dad, it's his right to be there for him. I can't take that from him."

I can't take it from him? Oh, you mean like he didn't just try to take my right as a mother from me?

"Jack please... we can be a family. Alex doesn't ever have to know... please?"

He leaned back against the wall and slammed his fist on the floor. "Iris, that's all I've ever wanted... But you're asking me to do the impossible."

I grunted. He was making this far too difficult and I could understand why, but I needed him to do this for me. I'd rather he be the father than Alex. I couldn't have Alex be around when at every angry moment, he'd try to rip my baby from my arms.

"Jack, do you love me?" A single tear drop ran down my face as I stared at him.

He nodded, and awkwardly bit his bottom lip.

"Then do this for me."

He mumbled something under his breath and in quick, short movements, he quickly jumped to his feet and ran out of the kitchen, leaving me to stare blankly into space. I had just used his love for me against him... and yet, he hadn't said anything, just quickly ran. And I wasn't a bit hurt that he had left me after my crazy proposal. For this matter, I wondered why I couldn't feel the same for him. Jack had always been good to me, secretly defending me even after I left him for Alex, after I ran from both of them. When I returned, Alex made my life hell... but Jack forgave me in a heart beat. It killed me that even after all of this, I couldn't love Jack like he loved me... I still loved Alex and I was afraid that I always would.

I heard heavy footsteps making their way to the kitchen and was a bit surprised that it was Jack, whom apparently hadn't left me... yet. He sat down in front of me on the floor again and smiled his signature smile.

"I never imagined I'd be asking you this under these circumstances but if this is what will make you feel safe..." he looked down as he figured out what to say. Meanwhile I stared back at him, confused as to what he meant. "Iris Jenadee, you would make me the happiest man in the world if you became my wife."

My eyes widened in shock. I didn't really expect this from Jack. My proposal didn't exactly include marriage, especially not married to Jack, "King Of One Night Stands."

"I... Jack, I don't know what to say."

He giggled... giggled!?

"I know this wasn't what you had in mind but I just thought..." he sighed. "I honestly don't know what I thought."

I smiled sweetly at him. "Yes, Jack. I do."

His smile widened and he quickly hugged me, squishing Jd in the process.

"Oh, hold up." He pulled something out of his pocket and opened it up. "This was actually for Jd but it's the best I have... for now."

I laughed as he slowly placed a Ring Pop on my finger.

"Iris?" I heard Toby's voice echo through the apartment and Jack's eyes grew wide in shock when my entire band walked into the kitchen.