Every Time I Look For You

Take Me To Church

Michael felt Ashton wriggling in his grip. Ashton kept muttering under his breath. "Shit Michael. Let go." Michael yawned and let go rolling back over to fall back asleep. He didn't even realize what just happened.

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Chris Brown was blaring from the kitchen. "Calum shut the fuck up!!" Michael covered his head with a pillow. Calum walked in with a smirk on his face. "Grouchy from cuddling Ashypoo all night long?" "What the hell are you talking about?" Michael asked but remembered. He remembered quite clearly what happened.

"Oh don't act like you didn't love it." Luke teased, walking into the living room. "He fell asleep on me. What did you want me to do?" Michael shot back. "Well the Michael I know would have told him to fuck off." Luke said with a slight smirk. "Yeah and now I'm telling you to fuck off Hood." Michael sneered. "Hostile much?" Calum pouted.

Ashton didn't show up for breakfast. Not like Michael wanted him there. He didn't want to think about what happened last night. He didn't want to have to look at the kid he supposedly hated. And he definitely didn't want to have to admit to himself that he didn't absolutely hate what occurred last night..

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The rest of the day kind of dragged by. Ashton never came out of his room. Luke tried and tried to at least get him to eat something but he wouldn't. Michael didn't even think Ashton had come out to use the bathroom. He was probably just as embarrassed as Michael was. It's not like it was his fault. Ashton was the one that decided to get all cuddly with him. That wasn't Michael's problem.

But it was.
It was very much Michael's problem for Ashton didn't come out of his room for three days. Not to eat, not for band practice, not even to use the bathroom during the day. He sat cooped away in his room. Michael thought he was a coward for what he was doing. Ashton couldn't even face anybody after what he did.

But what did Ashton really do? He got scared at some movie. Michael got scared. Why was it wrong to be scared? But somehow Michael made it Ashton's fault because he couldn't stand the thought of being the reason one more thing was fucked up. But he knew. He knew deep down that Ashton wouldn't come out because Michael scared him. Scared the living hell out of him. Ashton was afraid that Michael would scream at him again. And that killed Michael because he never meant any harm.

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The next day was Wednesday. He got to see mum and Liz today. He was thrilled to have a reason to get out of the house. Michael also honestly thought that if he left, Ashton would come out and eat something. Not that he cared about that little shit.

Michael picked up Liz around noon and drove to see his mum. It was a nice visit. Not much talking but that was okay. It was his family. It was broken and small but it was all his.

He stayed at his aunts house with Liz for a little while after visiting. Trying to avoid going back to the house at all possible costs. But eventually Michael had to say goodbye. Had to leave his sister. Had to face Luke and Calum. Had to go back.

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After pulling up in front of the house, Michael sat idle for what felt like hours. He didn't want to go inside for some reason. But he did. He got out of his car and went up the porch.

When he walked inside he could see Luke and Calum sitting on the couch. And there was Ashton sitting on the love seat. Ashton was smiling. But that changed when Mikey walked in. Ashton scurried up out of his seat and dashed down the hall to his room. Michael hadn't even made it two steps into the house before he heard Ashton's bedroom door click shut.

At first he wanted to scream. Then he wanted to cry. And then he screamed.

"I can't fucking do anything right can I?!! I walk into the damn house and scare people!! Fine!!" He stormed down the hall to Ashton's room before Luke or Calum could even wipe the shocked looks off their faces.

Michael's angry fist was pounding against Ash's door. "Let me in you little shit. We need to talk!" Michael was screaming, his face bright red. He could smell the fear coming from the other side of the door. At this point Luke and Calum were trying to pry Mikey away from the door. But he was built and didn't budge. And then it happened.

The door opened.

And on the other side stood a small, frail Ashton with scared, wide eyes. He looked straight at Calum and Luke and squeaked out quietly, "He can come in.." Michael stormed in still fuming but in slight dismay. Did Ashton actually just willingly let an angry Michael into his room?

Ashton shut the door and turned on his heal. "Can I help you with something?" Ashton said almost too calmly. Who the hell did he think he was? "Do you think I'm some kind of monster?!!" Michael roared in fury. Ashton's eyes changed quickly between fear to dumbfounded. There was a few moments of silence. Only Mikey's heavy breathing and Ashton eyes piercing through his soul.

And then it hit him. He lowered his hands and his eyes became soft. Because what he had just said out loud was a realization. Michael was a monster. And everyone knew it, now including himself.

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Hey guys sorry I haven't updated in forever. I've been super busy but i promise I'll get back on top of things.

And I'm super sorry for the sucky somewhat filler chapter. The story's about to get interesting i promise.

That's it thanks to my readers. Ily.

Jamie Xx