Mr Styles | Harry Styles x Reader

004

Harry's POV

I'm such a fucking idiot.

The weight of shame pulls my head down. After one last glance at the girl who had made me the most confused I had ever been. Her deep blue eyes causes a rush of poison to flow threw my body, one so dangerous it consumes my every action. Y/N swims through my every thought, a perfect dream that I never want to wake up from, But then again, when do I ever have what I want. The harsh alarm set on my phone pulsates a smooth rhythm vibrating the table. Detention is over.

Time with her is over.

"Uhm, alright student. Times up. Everyone hand back your essays and I hope not to see any of you here again" I manage. Even though I was addressing the entire class of delinquents, there was one which I just couldn't help but lock eyes with. Each student places the sheets of meaningless words on 'Who they want to be' and drawings to waste time. Y/N gently places her papers in front of me, we share a small awkward smile before she walks towards the door. I place my head down on the table, but before I have the chance to pack up I hear a voice, a sweet melody.

"Oh, and um, sir?

"I believe this is yours"

She places the sleek black ballpoint pen in front of me. Part of me never wanted her to give it back but maybe this was for the best. It's best if I forget about this whole situation. It is.... right?

Music pulsates through the apartment, and the soft blue walls hum with vibrations while the floorboards shake lightly. The closed door is not blocking out the music one bit. I imagine my roommate Louis and his friends thrashing our living room - the furniture would be pushed to one side to make a dance floor, and the room will smell of sweat and alcohol. It's Friday night so they'll be happy - well, happy enough to forget about all the things that make them unhappy and then tell each other they haven't been this happy in ages. They've been partying since I came back from school and I already know it'll last at least until the sun rises. I lay on my bed in the clothes I'll be wearing out, my hair still damp from the shower. I burrow down deeper into the mattress and jam in my earphones, but it's not enough to block out the noise. I turn my head to the digital clock. I should be leaving to meet her by now. Y/N has been clouding my thoughts since I met her. I've convinced myself that this isn't right and that I need to get out more. I don't even know if it's true but it's the best option right now. Louis set me up with a girl he worked with - he continues to tell me that 'She's meant for me' and 'You'll definitely hit it off'. Even though he barely knows her, the sad fact is that when people say this, we want it to be true so bad that we actually start to believe it, like it's some kind of law. That's what makes the inevitable fallout of 'They're just not that into you" to be so much more of a disappointment.

I peel out of the parking lot into the cold winter night, begrudgingly driving to a date which I already know isn't going to go anywhere, but I guess it's a distraction. The glowing green sign of the restaurant reflecting off the cold, wet pavement greets me. Here we go again.

I sit across from Sarah, an intelligent young woman whose laugh brings warmth to whoever she is with. She's great but .... I can tell she's not meant for me.

"Hi, welcome to Batello-"

I look up from my menu to see the very familiar face that drifts in my daydreams. She pauses and gives us both a seemingly uncomfortable smile.

"My name's Y/N and I'll be your waiter tonight. Are you ready to order?" her voice trails off as our eyes are locked. Her eyes are the colour of the ocean after a storm, sparkling like galaxies in the dim lights of the restaurant.

"Sir? Mr Styles?" Her sweet voice snaps me out of the trance she has no idea she has control of.

"Oh, um.. Could we have another minute?"

"Of course"

I turn back to Sarah. Her face is full of confusion - and I don't blame her.

"Mr Styles? How does she know you?" I don't know why the question caught me off guard. She's just a student. People ask this all the time.

"Uhm, she's just one of my students."

"Oh, that must be a little weird huh?"

"It's fine though - this happens all the time ... why would it be weird?"

"Uh, no reason, I just..." she backpedals, as her voice trails off and silence falls upon us.

We continue to eat our dinner, her trying to spark first date conversations which will eventually end with her scrambling, and me, not being able to pay attention to anyone but Y/N. My mind is miles away - going through scenarios which I know won't ever happen and I can't take my eyes off her.

"Harry." My mind is brought back to Sarah. Her expression, this time, is changed to disappointment rather than her normal bubbly smile.

"Yes?"

"This isn't going to go anywhere, is it?" she muses, a small sad smile plastered on her face

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," she sighs, "We have been here for an hour and you have said nothing to me other than a few nods and grunts because you're too busy daydreaming about your student"

"Sarah-"

"No, it's fine. These things happen... I know I don't know you very well, but I do know that this-" she gestures towards Y/N, who is scrubbing a table with insistent determination.

"-Won't end well. For anyone ... especially her" she stands up, grabbing her bag but I just can't look at her. What's she's saying is right but why can't I let her go? She's a student, for fucks sake.

"Good luck." All I can do is nod and watch her walk away leaving the hardest truth with me.

I sit there, circling the glass of bourbon with my fingers, thinking about what the hell is right and wrong. I don't even know anymore.

"Hey. anyone sitting here?" I look up and see the beautiful Y/N, a hand on the empty seat in front of me.

"Uh, no - All yours" I said expecting her to drag it away, but she sat down across from me and sighed. I looked at her beautiful face, perplexed.

We sat in silence for a few minutes. I was going crazy. What should I say to her?

"So," I said abruptly.

Y/N jumped, startled.

"Sorry I didn't mean to..." My voice trailed off.

God, keep it together Harry! I thought to myself, desperately scrambling to try to find something else to say.

"How was your date?" She asks, a smirk on her face

"Uhm, fine?"

She lifted her right eyebrow, obviously sensing the uncertainty in my answer. Anyone could.

"Fine? Because, it looked like she kinda walked out on you" she said, laughing. Not a cruel laughter but a soft gentle one which made my heart flutter. Her face suddenly dropped, the sweet smile fading.

"Oh, uhm, sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable"

"No - not at all" I said plainly.

The beautiful smile returned to her face. Everything was telling me that this was wrong, but in that very moment, I didn't give a shit.

Y/N and I talked for hours, not like a student and teacher, but as friends. We didn't have to dive into any desperate first date conversations like 'how many siblings do you have' or 'where did you grow up'. We just told stories of ourselves, things we had overcome - like it was just us in the world. I found it so easy to talk to her, not once was there a feeling of awkwardness or distress. We talked until the restaurant closed and the cars stopped passing by. The worst part of all of this is that once we went our separate ways tonight, we'd have to continue pretending like there's nothing more than student and teacher. Maybe there isn't anything more to her.

But I know - that this 'wrong' feeling, has never felt so right.