The Struggles of a Teenage Loser

Chapter 8

In school the next day I see a kid in my English class who is not normally there. He says his name is Sam, and when he is not looking I get a chance to get a good look at him. His wavy blondish hair falls in his Blue gray eyes and I wonder if he is going to hang out with the Jocks because he sure looks like he could. He is pretty down to earth, which is cool. He seems very accustomed to everything and yet its only his first day. But me on the other hand, I couldn't go a minute without shaking and feeling sick. Because its been nearly a month now, and I am getting used to everything pretty well although life here kinda sucks compared to what it used to be. Or maybe its the fact that I don't like changes.

   I am a very unsure, indecisive and nervous person. I get uneasy when there is a change. That doesn't mean I don't like new things, its just that I like sticking to the plan. But this kid seems so confident it's amazing. I wouldn't have the guts in me to talk to anyone else unless I was forced to. I like this kid already. But there's something about him that doesn't make him seem like a jock. He isn't self-centered, or doesn't seem it anyway. He's really smart, not saying jocks aren't but he is kind of an everybody. That's what's so puzzling about him."Who is he? Who is this kid?" I wondered. Whoever he is, he is making a lot of friends already and I really want to know more about this kid. So at lunch, I look for him and find him at a table in the front of the cafeteria and I am completely amazed by what I am seeing.

        At his table are nerds, jocks, losers (somewhat like me) and everyone there is different. There's something different with Carol. She wants to sit in the cafeteria, which surprises me, so I ask her why she wants to sit here today. She replies plainly "I thought about what you said the day those girls made fun of me. I was inspired by your confidence and the next time they speak to me, I'll tell them off for sure!" She beamed a wide grin, and I felt really happy for her. Then she leaned in closer and hr voice got all quiet and serious and she asked "Can I tell you a secret?" A smile spread across my face and my voice got all small and secretive also and I said "Sure."

"Okay," she began, " I really want to ask Andrew Tyler to the autumn dance next Friday but I'm too scared."  I smiled at her little secret and I said "Go ahead! What's the worst that can happen? He'll say no? You don't die if he says no, now will you? I bet he would be honored to go with you." She glowed in pride and confidence. "You're right! Thanks!" And dashed away just as the bell rang and she happily skipped away, her unruly crimson hair bounced against her back as I watched her disappear into the crowd of people that engulfed her as we were whisked away to our last classes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I finally get a chance to talk to the new kid as I find he is in my science class and thankfully we get new searing charts away from jockface and right next to new kid. I sit down awkwardly and I tell myself "Its okay, Mere. Breathe. Just breathe. You're fine. Just don't be awkward...well, it's kind of too late for that so just don't embarrass yourself, that's all."

   "Hey." He says casually. I am flipping out inside and a random thought occurs in my head. "I think... I like him." 

Of course, with my ever present so called "charm" and "grace" I just simply have to go "Oh, oh me? Hey!" Inside my head I am shaking my head at my stupidity and humiliation of myself. Now Im mad at myself and my brain goes "SERIOUSLY? REALLY? IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY? YOU LIKE HIM? AND 'OH,OH ME? HEY!' I MEAN, COME ON, WHAT IS THAT?" I don't catch myself and I literally say out loud "Its your fault, so shut up!" He turns  to me, and he smiles in amusement. "Excuse me?" I blush immediately, realizing that I said that out loud. Woops. "Uhm I uh- its just- I wasn't or- I just I was talking to myself, I guess." He chuckled "you're hilarious."

"But, I didn't say anything funny." He laughed again and shook his head in amusement.  I just stare at him, puzzled by him. He is very strange. "I don't get it..." He just keeps looking at me and I say "What? what's so funny?"

"Nothing." He replies in amusement. I really didn't get him. What's so funny?  "No, really. What is so funny?"

"You were talking to yourself." I pursed my lips and gave him a look like "Really?"  I said "So you think I'm crazy? Is that it?"

"Nah," he replied "Its just that I do the same thing!" This time it was me who laughed.  "Really?" I exclaimed. "I thought I was the only one who did that!"

"No. I'm a loser." My brain and I were freaking out at that moment.

    

   So I got talking to him and he is really funny and we share a lot of the same personality traits and he is very interesting and... different. He's not like Austin, or Judie or anyone for that matter. He's an everybody person.