Nine - They Made Made Me Who I Am

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Constantly wearing Jenna's shirt always gave me a sense of comfort for whenever she wasn't around. I had never enjoyed anyone touching me, sometimes even shaking hands seemed too much, but wearing her shirt was almost like hugging Jenna, or cuddling up by a fire and watching 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer' which I've seen way too many times. Even then, I almost craved to watch it over and over while laying across Jenna's lap.

Jenna and I had yet to even hug yet, but I still craved her touch when she wasn't with me and rejected it whenever she was around. It was a gruesome cycle of always wishing Jenna was with me when she was too busy to even think of me needing her and that was the hardest part to come to terms with. I even continued to check my phone beside me in the hopes that it would blink with an invite to join Jenna at her house, or at the least meet up somewhere.

Eventually, I had to come to terms that Jenna was busy and as much as I wanted to hang out with her, I wasn't going to be able to. 

"You look like shit." I felt the seat next to mine on the couch dip, causing me to fall over and crash onto the shoulder of whoever was beside me. It was Sam.

While I had decided to remain in the pajamas I had slept in last night, my hair in a tangled mess at the moment, Sam actually looked decently nice. I wouldn't be surprised if some guy was taking her somewhere tonight.

"Thanks." I replied, rolling my eyes sarcastically as I pushed myself up off of her and resumed my huddled position on the couch and turned my attention back to Teen Titans reruns playing. For the first time in awhile, I wished my sister would just leave me alone for the moment so I can sulk.

"Seriously, what's wrong. Aren't you usually with some girl or something right now?" She pressed, obviously not catching on that I wanted to be left alone. I grunted in response, not able to form an actual coherent sentence with almost all of my attention focused on the fuzzy TV screen.

Sam had opened her mouth to say something else, but I was distracted by the sound of my phone buzzing to actually pay attention to what she was about to say, which was likely to be some insult again.

"Move." I said quickly, shoving her off of the couch so that I could grab my phone from underneath her. My heart was racing with the idea of it being Jenna and getting to hang out with her, but when I unlocked my phone, it was just a notification from Facebook, probably another embarrassing photo posted by my mom. 

I grunted again, throwing the phone back on the cushion where it had been earlier and brought the blanket back up to my throat and tried not to act as disappointed as I felt. I don't know why I keep getting my hopes up.

"Wow. Okay. I think what you need is some fresh air." My sister stood up, dusted off some of the dirt from the floor off of her dress and grabbed my hands to pull me up off of the couch as well, the blanket that had been covering me falling to the floor. "So, go get changed out of... this" she said motioning towards my current attire "and we're going to have a sister shopping trip." She said happily.

I was close to protesting this whole idea, mostly considering Sam's idea of fashion, was most definitely not my idea of fashion and we were likely to have a fight in the middle of Forever 21 like we always do, I don't know how she always manages to forget we've yet to go on a shopping trip where we came back 'closer than ever.' The look she was giving told me not to argue with her though and that I just needed to go along with it and change. 

When I turned my back I gave a glare towards the wall in front of me, pretending it was her as I stomped up to my room to change into something that didn't give the impression of me being homeless. 

I looked at myself in the mirror and blew a piece of my hair out of my face as I tried to decide what was going to be appropriate to wear for this. Just to spite Sam, I kept Jenna's Led Zeppelin shirt on and just changed my pajama shirts into a pair of jeans and vans. Considering I had no interest in actually taming my hair, I just threw it up in a ponytail and was finished with it. 

"Jeez you take forever." Sam said locking her phone, hiding whatever it had been that she had been doing while she waited. 

"You take longer than I do!" I protested, shoving my phone into my back pocket as I waited for Sam to get up and drive us to wherever she planned on dragging me too. 

"Where did you even get that shirt? It's so lame." Sam said looking me over as she grabbed her car keys and began walking out towards her car, the only other car we owned besides our mom's, despite the fact that everyone in the family can now drive. "Oh, does it belong to your boyfriend?" She teased, laughing as if the idea of someone liking me, or at the least letting me have their shirt, was just the funniest thing she had ever thought of.

"Get in the car." I grumbled, not even bothering to to dignify her with a response, mostly because the shirt did belong to someone else, someone I liked, but I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of knowing that.

While we drove, Sam took up most of the ride by talking about some new job she had applied for at the mall that she just 'knew she was going to get.' I was really only half listening though, and when she wasn't looking I was checking my phone hoping that Jenna's name would pop up on my screen.

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Once again, only checked spelling so I could get this up ASAP, so if you find any grammatical errors, I apologize.

As always, thanks for reading!

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