Break Me (Larry Stylinson)✔️

17

2016

The next morning I feel like a zombie, I couldn't fall back asleep after waking up so I just tossed and turned throughout the rest of the night. Louis slept good I think, he even snored which didn't help me sleep.

I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know what I am supposed to do. I need to talk to someone but the only one who would understand is Helena and I have no way to reach her, we didn't exchange numbers.

"Morning." Louis mumbles in to the pillow, throwing his arm around me. The feeling is so familiar but yet so strange to me, it's been so long since we did this. I don't know what will be different this time from the last time.

Can he change? I don't really believe he can, but I want him to change for me so badly.

"I thought we could go bowling after school." Louis says after a while, I smile at him it's a fake smile but he doesn't know the difference.

"I don't really like bowling." I mumble, we used to go bowling all the time before. I actually enjoyed it but only because it was the only place I wasn't scared. I usually felt fear when I hung around Louis.

Why would I want to feel that again? I don't know why I'm getting myself in to the mess that's Louis life again. But somehow here I am.

"You used to love it."

"No I didn't, I just loved not having to be scared." I don't know why I am telling him this, maybe because now I don't even care if I live or die anymore. I stand up from the bed walking over to my closet to get dressed. I probably should shower but my energy isn't there so instead I'm going to put on a beanie over my hair.

"You look hot." Louis change the subject, he lays there in bed just watching me while I change. I don't even care if he sees me change underwear, it's not like it's something he haven't seen before.

"Can I borrow some clothes? I didn't plan on staying the night." Louis says, I just throw him some underwear and a white shirt, he can wear the same jeans as yesterday... mine wouldn't fit him anyway.

"Thanks." The rest of the morning is just us getting ready in pretty much silence, Louis tries to keep a conversation going but I am just not ready for it. I'm too tired to even function properly, fuck I might even still be a little drunk.

"Do you want to pick music?" Louis asks when we sit in his car, I just shake my head not really in the right mental state to do anything more than what's required from me. Louis tries so hard to talk and make everything okay but honestly my mind is such a mess right now that not even I can detangle it.

"Do you have math today?"

"Yes I do... why you asking? I ask him, wondering why he want to know if I have math, like seriously why does it matter.

"I just remember how you always complained about how bad you were at it." He tries to go down memory lane with me, which probably isn't such a good idea considering every damn thing he did to me.

"I've actually gotten kind of good at it now." I just say, not giving in to what he wants.

"Do you want me to pull over so we can have a quickie right here?" Louis suddenly asks when we're almost at the school.

"What the fuck Louis? Why in the world would you think that is something I would want?" I feel so offended by his question, like what the fuck makes him believe that it's okay for him to ask me that.

"I just thought we were okay, that we just start of where we left it last time. Since when are you such a prude."

"I'm not the same person anymore. I was so stupidly in love with you and scared of you at the same time back there so I just never dared to say anything against you!" I am almost shouting at him, if it wasn't for the fact that my head have started to hurt I probably would be full on yelling by now.

"Don't you dare say you didn't want it, you begged for me to fuck you at every chance you got!" He is yelling back at me, defiantly increasing my headache by like a million.

Thankfully he pulls in to a parking space outside of school, so I just get out of the car walking up to the big building. I can hear him following me because of the line of curse words that he keeps throwing at me.

I'm caught of guard when he suddenly pulls me in to one of the bathrooms.

"Get the fuck out." He says in a scarily calm voice to the two boys who are standing by the sinks. They don't even look at him before they disappear. Everyone is scared of him, everyone thinks they do horrible stuff... they just know half of it.

"I will remind you how fucking much you begged for it." He whispers harshly in to my ear, I wish I had the strength to push him away from me. But his voice is filled with lust and I haven't gotten any in a long time.

It is a hell of a lot easier to say no to Louis when he is just suggesting it in the car then when he is pressed up against you and making your whole body ignite.