Break Me (Larry Stylinson)✔️

14

2016

I want to break down and just scream and tear everything up in to pieces but I can't. It's like time have stopped and I'm just standing there in the stairs looking at the boy that stands in the door, there is an awkward silence because my mom doesn't say anything and neither do I.

He just stand there waiting for answers even if his question kind of already been answered because his eyes are locked on me. I want him to look away so he doesn't cast that spell over me, but he doesn't and I can feel how my whole body is falling back in to his games, I don't want to go back after today. He hasn't changed.

"I just need to talk to you" he say and his eyes are still on me.

No you don't. You need to leave.

"Okay." Why do I always say the things I don't want to? Why don't I speak the words that's going through my mind?

"Come on" I say and walk up towards my room, I can hear him hurrying to take off his shoes and catch up to me. I can feel my moms eyes on me, I know what she's thinking.

She doesn't know, she thinks I'm crazy for bringing him in to my room after everything... with everything I mean everything she knows, she think he just broke my heart by leaving me... if she knew the truth it would kill her.

"It looks different" his words hit me in my heart because it's almost a tone of sadness in his voice.

"I'm different"

"I know." I see how he looks over all the empty bottles laying around my room, some broken some not.

"What do you want?"

"Another chance."

I don't want to give him another chance but there is something inside of me that knows if I don't I will regret it. I need to do this for me. I need to do this for me.

"Why?"

"Because when I'm with you everything is different, I don't have to fake I don't want to pretend or always lie. When I'm with you I don't have to think of what I say and who I am, I don't want to act tuff. When I'm with you I'm me, I'm happy and I feel safe... I know weird... I don't understand why I can't move on from you but i just know no matter what I can't. You're always there in my mind."

He stops and looks around him and his eyes stop on my bedside table, on there is the only picture I didn't throw... the picture from that night. I couldn't bare to throw it not after everything.

"Because no one ever made me feel like when I was with you, no one ever made me want to say those words that I want to scream to you every time I see you... I don't say them because I'm scared that if I do say them too much that you will leave me. I can't bare to lose you."

He stops and looks towards me and then back to the picture again.

"Because no one started something inside of me like you did, no one have and no one ever will make me feel like you make me feel."

I don't stop him from taking the picture from the bedside table and looking at it.

"Because you made me fall in love with you that night" he stops talking just looking at me.

That night have hunted me ever since he left, I remember every detail like it would have been happening right now.

2014

"Sssshh... you have to be quiet my mom might wake up otherwise" I whisper shout at him, like you're shouting on someone but have to keep it down so it just sounds really weird.

"Oh baby I'm not going to be the one having to be quiet" he whispers in to my ear, how can one person be so freaking sexy?

After that he climbed up to my window and in through it he just have started to drive me crazy.

He is standing there just a couple of centimetres away from me, if I move a little I could kiss him.

His hands are touching my body slowly and leaving it on fire, I didn't know anyone could make me feel this alive.

He leans forward and leaves soft kisses down from my ear to my neck, giving me shivers though my whole body. He is driving me crazy and he has barely even done anything.

"Have you had a good day?" The way he whispers in to my ear and letting those soft lips move against it while he say the words makes it hard to breathe.

"Yeah.." I surprise myself by having to hold in a moan, what is he doing to me? How can he make me feel this way without even trying?

"I'm sorry I wasn't there..." he has such a seducing voice and he got me hooked on every word he say with those pink lips.

"I'll make it up for you..." his hand moves down to the outside of my pants and the blood is flowing down there.

"I promise" he kisses my lips and while doing that he painfully slowly unzip my pants. He is teasing me so much with all the touching and seducing but he does it in a good way.

I let a small moan out of my mouth and I almost feel embarrassed about it.

But my feeling of embarrassment goes away fast when he pull me closer and I feel that he is just as hard as I am.

"You do this to me" he whispers in to the room that's now filled with heavy breathing, he then takes my hand in his and slowly guides it down his body towards his pants. He moves it so I can feel every part of his body.

I didn't want to write more smut without asking if you guys want me to actually do it. Do you guys want me to have smut as a part of this story or should if just be like this and then stop and leave the rest to your imagination?

Please hit me up with what you guys want and I promise I will try to get better at updating!