Break Me (Larry Stylinson)✔️

9

2016

"Just because we had a little fall back yesterday doesn't mean I want anything with you to do" I say to Louis who is leaning against his car with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Well whatever yesterday was I'm offering to drive you to school, so you can either walk in the cold or sit in the car for a few minutes with me." He says in that voice that shows me that he already knows that I'm way too lazy to walk in this windy weather... plus it feels like it might start raining any second now.

"I'll go with you only because it feels like it might rain... and that's the only reason I even put my foot in your car again." I say even if we both know that it's a lie. I don't want to get involved with Louis again but there is something about the way he is that grabs me and drags me in to him.

No matter how hard it try I can't get over him... I'm in love with him and he knows it, I was never able to get over him because I never got a real ending...

I walk over to him and sit down in the passenger seat, the car is warm and I can feel my body get warm, I wasn't even out in the cold for that long but the way the wind grabbed my clothes made me feel really frozen really fast.

"Wanna pick music?" He says and I just shake my head because I am not falling for his shit... or you know I have already fallen for it but I'm doing everything in my power not to fall back to what we used to be. I know people say that if you're in an abusive relationship you should get out of it and never even think of getting back to it...

We sit in silence while Louis is scrolling though his phone to pick music... stupid don't he know how much can happen those seconds he looks at the phone? Not that I think that he really cares.

"Eyes on the road" I say in panic when we almost go off the road and in to a tree, I wanted a ride to school not to the hospital!

He laughs at me and there the feeling is... the feeling of being stupid and small, he gives me those feelings when he laughs at me and makes fun of me even if he doesn't realise it. He don't even know what he is doing but every little thing he does is hurting me, he isn't doing it on purpose but it sometimes feel like he is.

"Stop being such a pussy Styles you're not going to die." The words hits me like a brick wall...

"Well that's not true. I will die sooner or later... I'm just planning on staying away from you so it later rather then sooner." I can see something flash by his eyes but he is too good at hiding his emotions for me to be able to see what he's feeling.

He parks the car outside of school and I step out in the cold, I somehow want to get inside the car again with Louis, I don't want to go back to him but at the same time I still love him.

It's hard to do the right thing when your whole body is telling you to do differently, my whole body wants me to get back with Louis while my brain is screaming at me.

I want to be strong enough to resist him but honestly I don't think I'm that strong, I don't think I can handle that kind of heartbreak.

If I don't go with Louis this time I know that I will lose him forever, I know he will disappear after he graduates and if I'm not with him by then he won't be back ever in my life.

I want to be strong enough to keep holding on and let him disappear forever, but I know that when he leaves then my heart will go with him and then it will be more broken than it's now... and I never though it could break more.

"Louis?" I look at the brown haired girl standing in front of us, I didn't even notice that she came up to Louis car... what the heck I didn't even notice Louis moving from his side of the car to mine... I'm way to trapped in my own mind to notice what's happening around me, why? Why is my brain so fucked up?

"Ashley?" Louis say it's not in surprise it's more like he is asking what she wants in a very annoyed voice. I don't understand why he can't be nice to people, he once was.

"You never picked me up this morning and here you are with him! You told me he was nothing! That I mean everything to you!" She is mad I can hear it in the way her voice is making different cracks.

"You want to know something Ashley? I lied, that's what I do." That hits me harder than I though it would, I never expected to hear those words so harsh, the tone in his voice is so cold and I can feel my whole body going cold.

That's what he does, he lies.

That's why I can't be with him because no matter what he say or do I will never know if it's the truth or if he's just telling me lies. I don't even know if he's capable of telling the truth because it seems like all he ever does is lie.

I walk away. I can feel him looking at me, I can feel those burning blue eyes in my back... all I want is to turn around and look at him, but I know if I do... I will believe every word he say.

"Harry."

I just keep walking.

"Harry!"

Step by step.

"Hazza please..."

I stop in my tracks... he sounds so broken... almost as broken as I feel...

Can it be that he also is breaking from the inside?

So guys I got an suggestion from phenelope_swann on twitter about doing a bonus story called fix you from Louis point of view.

I actually like that idea so now I want to know if it would be something you guys would be interested in.