Break Me (Larry Stylinson)✔️

3

                  

2016

"Harry..." The voice is soft, just as I remember it... no matter how mad I am at him, no matter how much he broke me... I still fall in love with the way he says my name. I don't want to look him in to the eyes because I don't know how it will make me feel.

I don't want to turn around and look at him, I don't want him to see how he broke me... I don't want to give him that pleasure.

"I'm sorry I got to go" I say and push myself away from him and walk out of the school. Who does he think he are? Why does he think he can walk up to me in the hall after almost two years of nothing... Why did he do it?

"Wait! Harry I have to talk to you." I'm stopping outside of the doors of the school, I just need to get over him... and I almost did why?

"Harry..."

"What could you possibly want from me? Set me on fire right here? Or maybe put a gun to my head and then laugh... haven't you done that before Louis. I'm over your games, I'm over you." I say and look him straight in to the eyes. Those blue eyes that makes me weak in my knees.

"You know I wouldn't kill you..." I want to believe him so badly but I just can't. After everything we've been through, I just can't.

"It's was just a game Harry, the gun was never loaded."

The flashback from the past passes by in my head... he treated me like my life was so much less worth than his.

"You left me to die in a burning house." I say and look him dead in the eyes. I can see something flashing by in his eyes but it's gone so fast so I don't have the chance to register what it was, the feeling hiding behind his act.

"Don't be so dramatic. You know that you were more alive with me than you have ever been before, and I know you miss it just as much as I do."

I just turn around and walk away from him. It hurt so much inside and it feels like with every step I take fill my body with more regret... I might regret this now but I will thank myself that day I see that Louis end up in jail for killing someone or anything else of the dumb shit he do.

2014

My body is shaking and I don't know how to react. Standing only in my boxers in the middle of the room full of people laughing at me and how the tears fall from my eyes.

How did I end up here? What have I ever done to deserve this?

"Hey Louis your toy is a little boring maybe it's time to get a new one." One of them laugh out and I can feel the metal touch my head... Louis loves me... why is he doing this to me? Why is this gun held to my head? Why isn't anyone doing something? Why are they laughing?

Those people are sick in the head and I'm going to die right here right now and they will laugh at the blood that will come from the bullet hole in my head. They will watch me die without flinching...

Louis is going to put a bullet through my head and they won't even care, they will act like normal tomorrow.

"Please... please... please" I sob out while pressing my eyes closed so I won't see their faces, I don't want their faces to be the last thing I see when I die.

"Look at me while I'm holding a gun to your head. Look at me and beg for your life." I open my eyes and my eyes meet those blue once, the once that I have looked right in to every night when he was slamming in to me...

Those eyes I love... they will be the last thing I see before I die.

"Please... don't..." my breathing is so panicked and my whole body is shaking from my sobs. The tears are falling from my eyes and they don't seem to stop anytime soon... or they will stop when I'm out cold and died.

And then suddenly everything goes black...

When I open my eyes again I see the familiar dark red walls... I'm in Louis room... but how can I be here? I'm supposed to be dead... what?

I look around and see the door to the balcony standing open and I just know he's out there smoking his life away, just like every other time.

"Louis?" I sound so weak when I stand in the doorway looking at his small figure inhaling the smoke... It's weird how someone so small can seem so intimidating.

"You're awake, you passed out over at Tony's" I get all the flashbacks to there and I can't help but feel the lump building in my throat, you know the one you feel when you're close to crying.

"You held a gun to my head..." I say and look at him with scared eyes... can you love someone who scares you? Because I do.

"It's was just a game Harry, the gun was never loaded." Those words hang in the air long after they are spoken. Those words keep echoing through my head... it's just a game... it was just a game to scare me so much with death.

They don't see death as scary... they just think it's a game...

"Don't be a pussy now, go back inside and go to bed it's kind of late." I don't even question him, I just turn around and walk back in to the room and lay down in his bed...

It's like he have casted a spell on me and I'm not sure I want to get out from it. I feel like he cares, he loves me... In his own twisted way... he loves me...

----

I did not expect my mind to ever be this twisted... sorry.... and this is just the beginning of the mess