Chapter 19 - Christmas Eve

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Angel
Jim leaps about like a child, unable to contain his excitement. 

"I'm going to kill the PM! I'm going to kill the PM!" He sings. I muster a chuckle, not quite so thrilled myself. I really do not want to die tomorrow, but there is a worryingly strong chance that I might. All the plans are in order but they are by no means fail safe, Jim's plans are immaculate, unfortunately for me.

"I'm going to kill the PM! I'm going to kill the PM!" He repeats. I breathe deeply, trying to clear my head. It's going to be fine. I tell myself. I never was scared of dying, I've come close to it before. What's different this time? I ask. Everything, I answer. Everything is different. I'm expecting it, I know who it could be, I have time to think about it. The biggest difference, though, is that for the first time I have someone worth living for, John.

It feels like I haven't seen him in years when, in reality, it's only been a week - although I was a bit out of it at the time. We've had a short friendship (or romance if you can call it that) but I can say that I haven't felt the way I feel about John in a long time. I guess that I always thought that when I finally found-

"I'm going to kill the PM! I'm going to kill the PM!" 
"OH MY GOD, SHUT UP. I GET THE FUCKING POINT." I yell, loosing my temper just a tad. Taken aback Jim actually takes a few steps away from me. Wow, the stress must really be getting to me.

Eyes wide, Jim tries to justify his actions. 
"But.... It's like Christmas. It isn't everyday I get to kill the Prime Minister, y'know." He babbles.I exhale deeply, trying to calm myself. "Tomorrow is Christmas and I'm a kid on Christmas Eve." 
"Sorry Jim, I think I'm just sleep deprived." I make up. Before I have the chance to lash out again I excuse myself. 

Needless to say I don't get much sleep.

I toss and turn. I check the plans despite knowing that they're already as good as they can get.

I toss and turn. I check my alarm is on.

I toss and turn. I check my clothes are laid out.

I toss and turn. I fall into a restless sleep.

I toss and turn. My alarm goes off.

***

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