DONAVAN

Chapter 6: Family Reunion

After not sleeping for a week straight I had a hard time dragging myself out of bed and into the shower. I let the warm water soak my scarred body and relax my tense muscles. I didn't know how long I stayed in the shower but I didn't care.

"You leave in an hour, Jason!" My Mother called from outside the door.

I had a appointment at the VA today and I wasn't ready for it. I soon stepped out of the shower and dried my hair with a towel before putting on a pair of jeans and a olive green t-shirt. I slid on my combat boots and tucked my semiautomatic pistol into the waist band of my jeans before heading out the door. I walked to the subway and boarded the subway train. I was in a daze. A tired and drunken daze. I found a seat and leaned my head against the window and within minutes I was out cold. Someone nudged me. I stirred and soon lifted my head.

"What?"

"This is the stop for the VA, mister. I know you got off here last time."

"Thanks."

I said, stepping in front of the man and out of the subway car. I limped down the street, so unaware of my surroundings. It felt good to let my guard down for once. I just wish I could do the same when I wasn't tried or drunk. I made my way past the receptionist desk and straight to Kayla's office. She was in the middle of meeting with another client and I felt bad about barging in.

"Oh, Jason. You weren't due to come in until one. Just sit down over there and I'll meet with you in a minute." Kayla said.

The women sitting on the sofa met my eyes.
"You know what, Doc, I think I can wait I'm not so sure about him. Besides you said I'm getting better." The women got up and gave Kayla a hug.

"I'll be back next week, Kayla. Thank you so much." The women said.

"You're welcome, Marcy." Kayla said, a smile on her face.

She soon turned to me. I had rested my head in my hands and sighed.

"Jason, what's going on?" Kayla asked softly.
At first I couldn't find it in me to speak. I physically couldn't will myself to speak.

"Jason?" She said.

"Kayla, I'm sorry about barging in. It's just that these damn hallucinations are getting worse and I haven't slept for a week straight and I'm drinking again..... I'm thinking about ending my life....."

"Okay, Jason. I'm going to send to a physic ward. You need more help than I can provide you with."

"No, that could be the worst thing anyone could do for me right now. Can you just put me on some medication and let nature run it's course?"

"There's something you're not telling me, Jason." She said.

"I let a Iraqi boy's mother die and he was killed too and.... And he's fucking haunting me or something. I've only seen him twice but both times it's been the same question.... I can't handle this anymore Kayla. I let everyone down and I can't deal with it."

"What question does he ask?"

"Why didn't you save my mommy. That's what he asked. There was no saving her through. By the time we found her she....she was already gone."

Kayla once again was lost for words.

"I saw and spoke to Danny again too. He seems angry or worried. I can't tell witch one."

"Jason you really need more help than I can provide you with.... I'm sorry."

"No,no,no don't be. I understand that I can't be helped and that's perfectly fine. I'll just go and rot in a crazy house some where and become a distant memory to a bunch of people."

"Jason, don't think of it that way. You are a good man. You've just seen some horrible things and it'll get better you'll see."

"I tell myself that everyday and it doesn't happen."

I rested my head in my hands.

"I don't want to be locked up in some room 24 hours a day. I couldn't take it. At least now I can out run my problems and come back to them when I feel like I can. In there I'll just be trapped with my demons, and it's a bad idea to leave me alone with my demons for too long. Plus it'll be too much like the war...."

"I'm willing to continue working with you, Jason. You have to promise me that you'll stop drinking and doing drugs. Try to go and get a part time job or something that'll keep your mind focused on something other than the war. I will prescribe you some medication. I must warn you though that there are side effects."
"I'll be careful Kayla. I promise."

"I don't want you driving or anything like that until you know how it will affect you."

"You won't have to worry about me driving."

"And don't hesitate to call."

"I won't. Thank you so much. Most people wouldn't put up with this nonsense."

"I'm here to help. You take care now, Jason."

"I will."
******
When I arrived home my Mother rushed me inside.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"We are having a family reunion, Jason. It's your Father's side of the family today. Go on upstairs and get ready."

"Mom, I don't thin I should-"

"You're going. End of discussion. You live under this roof you follow our rules. My Father cut in.

"Go on, Jason. I'll be waiting for you." My Mother said.

I went up the stairs and changed in a different pair of jeans and a nicer t-shirt. I still wore my combat boots and carried my gun with me. My Father tossed me the car keys.

"We went over this before. I'm not driving." I said, hatefully and got into the back seat. My Father slid into the drivers seat with a sigh and started the car. We arrived at my Uncles house around four. There were people everywhere. I made my way into the house and some one shouted my name.

"Jason! Hey man how have you been?" It was my cousin Jeremy.

"Ah you know hanging in there. How about you?"

"I can't complain."

"Hey that's always a plus." I gave a smile and made my way to a quieter portion of the house. My head began to pound. I felt light headed. I swore I saw my men, Danny, and the Iraqi boy standing further up the hall way.

"Please not here." I said.

Someone came up behind me. In a panic I whirled around and punched them. I didn't know where I hit them but at that point I didn't care.

"Shit, Jason. It's me. Why the hell did you hit me for?" Jeremy said, picking himself up off the floor.

"The war must've got to you, huh? I don't remember you being like that."

I couldn't find it in me to speak. I saw Danny shake his head and with that Danny, my men, and the Iraqi boy were gone.

"I-I've gotta go." I said, pushing past Jeremy and out the door. I avoided the curious stares of my family members.

"Jason, hold on." Jeremy said, taking me by the arm.

"Just, let me go! I don't need to be here!"

A loud crash sounded and I bolted. I made my way to the car. I hot wired it and sped out of the drive way and out onto the road. It wasn't long before the cops were after me. Speeding down the road, I swerved in and out of cars. The cops were gaining fast. One of the cop cars hit the rear finder of the car causing it to do a 180 turn. The cops had me surrounded.

"Step out of the car and put your fucking hands were I can see them!" A cop shouted.

Each of the cops had their guns drawn. I stepped out of the car, my hands in the air and I knelt down. The same cop that took me home from the bar came toward me, shaking his head.

"Jason, I don't see why you do this to yourself. Come on." He said, lifting me to my feet and handcuffing me.

I didn't respond. The cop put me into the back of his car and we headed to the police station. So much for a family reunion, I thought.