Life imitating art: 2Moons2 fanfic

Nine days: part 5

The next days were the worst Joong had ever experienced. Dealing with the fallout from his thoughtless response on instagram was one thing. But going through it without Nine by his side was hell. Despite Joong banging on the bathroom door, Nine hadn't let him in, or even talked with him. In the end, Joong had left, angry and upset.

Later that day, the first day in hell, Aam, their beloved director, explained to Joong carefully and at great length why what he had written was so offensive. "You're in a BL show, based on one of the most popular BL books ever, and you know how hard it has been, with everyone against the new cast. And now, less than three weeks into broadcast schedule, you write on social media that gays aren't real men. Joong... I'm so disappointed in you."

That was he worst. Listening to a lecture from the producers afterward was bad, but somehow knowing he had disappointed Aam hit Joong hard. Joong had to try and unlearn all the negative attitudes he had learned while living in Turkey, and he had to post an apology on social media. He also had to listen to his co-stars berate him. He bore it all. It was nothing compared with the fact that Nine wouldn't even talk to him.

On the second day of hell, Joong flooded Nine's phone with messages and pleas, but his texts went unanswered, his calls denied. The third and fourth days went in the same hell, with no response from Nine. The fans seemed more forgiving, however, most commenting on how young Joong was, with some drawing the connection to his life in Turkey. It made Joong hopeful that Nine would forgive him, too. Why was Nine even so upset about what he wrote to that fan? Was Nine gay? Was that why?

On the fifth day, Joong could no longer take it and he went over to see Nine. Nine opened the door but didn't let him in.

"What do you want?"

"To apologize."

"For what?"

"What I said."

"And what was that?"

"That stuff about me being a real man and not gay."

"You still don't get it," Nine said and shut the door firmly in Joong's face. He slid down the door to sit on the floor, listening to Joong's increasingly desperate "P'Nine? Nine khrab? P'...?" from the other side of the door, until Joong finally fell silent.

"I'm not giving up, P'..." Joong said at last, and let his head fall against the door for a moment, before he left.

Nine could only hope he wouldn't. He had been afraid that this would happen, that if he pushed Joong too far too soon, he would panic and now he had. But Nine hadn't pushed him! He had waited and waited, but Joong never said the words. And then it had all exploded on his face.

That night, Joong lay awake, his mind going over and over their last morning together. He could see how hurt Nine was, but he didn't understand why. They were just experimenting, weren't they? Satisfying their curiosity? But if that was what it was, why were they both in such pain now that it was over?

The sixth day of hell, the cast had to pre-record a live reaction to short clips from episodes five and six, where Joong had to watch Beam kiss Kit on the cheek and flirt with him. Even knowing it was all for the show, it made Joong's heart hurt. Especially since Nine wasn't there. They were recording about a week in advance of episode 5 premiere date due to schedules and Nine had an exam that day and couldn't join them. Joong told himself that it would only be 5-10 minutes for each reaction video. He could act like he wasn't heartbroken for that long, surely?

Then came Beam's comment in episode six, where he makes a play for Kit: "Friends can get together, can't they?" and Joong couldn't help his 'no, they can't', making all the other guys laugh. He couldn't join them, though, the scene made him remember far too clearly that he had lost Nine, not to someone else, but due to his own actions. He only hoped no one could see how much he was hurting. When Joong got home that day, his mentions were full of comments about how Joong seemed so downcast, and how badly he must be missing his P'Nine. They don't know, Joong chanted to himself, they're just shipping us.