More Than You Realize

Chapter 45: A Powering Desire

Sabre's POV:

  There's no way I did this! Everything is... DESTROYED! Burnt. My emotions got the better of me... again. Maybe "Krill" was right. Maybe I'm just a danger to everyone I know and care for. I can't risk hurting them like I did Spency and that imagined Krill.

  "I'm a walking killing machine," I sighed while looking at the landscape covered in black soot. "Why am I losing myself?"

I looked down to the ground, looking at the some of the only non-charred grass below. Most of it was crushed under my feet, but a few strands of grass swayed in the slightly blowing breeze.

  "How can I keep myself calm around the others?" I questioned as I used my foot to scuff the dirt below. I let myself gulp out of my own fear.

I looked around at the destroyed area, admitting that I had done this out of fear and anger. Krill wasn't even here, yet I still lost myself. Spency... well, he just pissed me off more recently.

  "Maybe I can't?" I said to myself questionably. "Maybe I can't keep my cool around them. Maybe that hallucination of Krill was right. I just need to isolate myself from them. Yeah, that would keep safe from the likes of me."

  "Sabre? What are you doing... AND WHAT HAPPENED?!" Jake exclaimed as the group emerged from the charred trees.

  I flinched as I turned to face them. Everyone was examining the blackened landscape carefully, taking in every feature it offered.

  "It looks like a fire tornado came through here," Void Steve grumbled as he ran his hand across the bark of a tree. "Did you do this, Sabre?"

  Everyone's eyes stared at me, examining my own body for any damages or proof that I caused this destruction. I peeled my eyes away from the group and looked around once again.

  "Well... kind of..." I mumbled. "I may have... lost my sanity for a minute."

  "For what reason? What caused you to do such a thing-ARE THOSE BODY PARTS!" Kylie yelled while pointing to the body parts. Everyone snapped their heads towards where she was pointing to.

  "Holy crap!" Void Steve exclaimed.

  "What the actual crap!" Ty called out in shock.

  I couldn't respond with any actual words. Everything came out as a lingering stutter, or just huffs of breath. My voice seemed lost in the abyss of my dark mindset. Where did the words I use to speak go?

"Sabre?" Jake questioned as his hand found a place on my shoulder.

"I DID ALL OF THIS!" I called out in a panic. Finally, my voice came back to me.

Everyone fell silent, and only my labored breathing filled my ears. My head felt a thousand times heavier than before, almost ready to explode.

  "Sabre..." Kylie mumbled. I couldn't tell what emotion filled her tone. Shock, dread, fear. I could hear those.

  "I-I'm sorry! I lost it! Spency tried to take me down and my anger literally took control of me. I blacked out, and when I came to, I was greeted with this! Then, I saw Krill; well, a hallucination of him. He kept taunting me. Telling me that I couldn't control myself and that I would be a danger to you guys. I lost it again. I guess "he" was right. I can't keep you guys safe. I can only harm," I explained as tears filled my eyes and ran down my cheeks.

"Sabre! Calm down! Everything is okay!" Jake yelled as his hands clasped on my shoulders. He shakes me slightly.

  "Jake! This is NOT okay! I can't help any of you. I can only harm! Do you guys not realize the amount of danger you guys are in when you're around me?!" I screamed.