Expect the Unexpected ❤️

~ mar 23 ~

a whole night goes by until i woke up and saw daniel next to me.
"oh my god.. what the fuck.." i notice my clothes were on the other side of the room. i didn't wanna wake daniel up so i get out of bed and try not to make a noise. i bumped the dresser a bit too hard and broke a vase. daniel opens his eyes.
"what happen- OH MY GOD! Y/N I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE HERE!" he covered his eyes and looked away.
"i'm sorry i don't know what happened either! i'll- i'll leave im sorry.. i'm sorry." i gathered my clothes and walked into the closet.
my anxiety was through the roof. i get dressed and then i sit down on the ground once i realize i was starting to have an attack. i started hyperventilating and my hands were tingling. tears were streaming down my face and i was uncontrollably shaking.
"y/n?" daniel opens the closet, he only put his boxers and pants on.
"y/n breathe, breathe, you're okay, you're fine, nothings wrong i promise you." daniel tries to comfort me while he sits down next to me and hugs me. my anxiety wouldn't stop.
"y/n you're fine, you're okay, you'll get through this. it'll be okay." daniel calms me.
i start to take control of my breathing a little more and then finally breath normally. i keep crying and choking up while doing so, but i was calmer than before.
"i don't like myself." i whisper low.
"what did you say y/n?" daniel was confused.
"i don't. like myself." i say a little bit louder.
"i cant hear you." he says.
"I DONT LIKE MYSELF!! i don't like the way i look because i'll never be skinny enough, i'll never be pretty enough, i will never be good enough or attractive enough, i'm always gonna be less than that. but i wouldn't choose me either." i start sobbing.
"y/n hey, you're not allowed to talk like that. not on my watch. i'm not letting you talk about yourself like that ever again!" daniel says.
"it's true..." i whisper as i look down. daniel lifts my head by my chin and looks me in the eyes.
"no. you're perfect. you're beautiful and you're amazing. you're enough." i look away then daniel tilts my chin again in his direction.
"i love you, y/n. and i know we just met yesterday but i feel like i've known you my entire life. i feel like you're the missing piece i needed in my puzzle titled 'life'. i feel like you're everything to me." he smiles. i felt nauseous and i got up and ran into the en suite bathroom, lifted the lid of the toilet and puked.
"Y/N! are you okay??" daniel runs after me.
"i'm fine. sometimes the attacks are so bad they make me dizzy and nauseous." i wash out my mouth and then go lay in the bed. i felt really cold so i used 2 blankets.
"i'll call jamie to come pick you up." daniel says. he dials jamie's number and calls her.
"hello?" jamie answers.
"hey jamie, did y/n come home last night?" daniel asked.
"no i thought she was with you? i let her stay since it was a saturday and doesn't have classes on weekends." jamie replies.
"oh okay, thank you." daniel hangs up.
daniel looks over to me and i could feel my eyelids dropping. soon enough i was passed out.
-
a few hours later, i woke up and felt odd. my stomach ached in pain. i clenched my stomach and sat up. i looked over to my right and daniel was on his phone. i groaned and then he looked at me.
"y/n, what's wrong?" he asks me. he looked at my hands that were clenching my stomach. he noticed the rope burns.
"y/n.." he reaches for my hand and i pull it away.
i stood up and i walked to the bathroom. daniel followed closely behind and held my hair back as i opened the lid of the toilet and puked up all the beer from last night. i flushed the toilet and sat down as my back slid down the wall. daniel went to get me some water and he came back with it.
"here. i figured this would help." he hands me the glass.
i washed out the first sip i took and then i drank it. i was thinking about what my ex did to me. he cut my lip, gave a black (now yellow) eye, cut my cheek, and made rope burns on my wrists and ankles. the only thing i caused myself was the rope burns on my neck and the scars on my arm.
"y/n what happened? your wrists and your face..." daniel hesitates.
"i was... i was in..." i stuttered.
"it's okay take your time." he says. i took a deep breath.
"i was in an abusive relationship. my ex would beat me for no reason and i was also sexually abused. he would tie me to the bed and bring his friends over to do the same to me as he watched and laughed." i breathed out. i could feel an anxiety attack starting. daniel hugs me tightly and sighs.
"i'm sorry you had to go through that. that sounds scary." he let's go and looks at my imperfections.
i looked at myself in the mirror. i stared and my stomach, then i squished the fat i had. i looked at my body shape. i looked at my cheek and lip scars from when my ex hurt me. the rope burns on my wrists were noticeable and the ones on my ankles nobody knew about. i could feel daniel's eyes staring at the scars.
i continued judging myself until daniel stepped in front of me.
"hey- no." his face 3 inches away from mine.
"stop doing that. you're amazing." he smiles.
i shove him out of the door onto the ground and locked him out.
"y/n, please open the door, please!" he knocks on the door.
i run the sink and start filling up the bathtub. i started rummaging through their stuff and found a razor. i knew how to take one apart and so i did just that. i take one of the 3 razors and sit on the toilet cover. i inhaled deeply before making my first deep incision.
"y/n, please open the door!" daniel knocks. i continue to scar.
"daniel, why are you knocking?" a voice says.
"corbyn, there's a girl in there." daniel says.
"isn't valerie supposed to be out by midnight?" corbyn asks.
"it's not valerie. shit i should probably check on her since she was more wasted than me last night. please make sure she's okay and find a way to open the door." daniel rushes out of the bedroom door and closed it behind him.
"hey, uh, girl? daniel said he care about you and wants you to open the door." corbyn says.
i continued to cut deeper and deeper. with every incision i made, i winced slightly in pain. until i let out a louder wince.
"hey you okay in there?" corbyn asks. i turn off the running faucets and then get into the bathtub. i lower my hand into the tub and watch the clear water turn into a light tint of pink. i get a new razor and switch over to the other arm. i wince even more in pain when i start to make the deepest incision i could possibly make. i heard footsteps running back upstairs and then the bedroom door opens.
"y/n, please open the door please, i beg of you." daniel continues knocking. he kept trying the doorknob. he wiggles it until it finally opened. he stood there. staring at me with his lifeless eyes. he was turning pale like he was about to faint. i stopped.
"wh- what are you doing...?" daniel asked with his voice breaking. i refused to say anything. i just lowered my arms into the now red water and smiled as i looked at them.
"i'm fine. i'm good. don't worry about me." i say with air filling my head.
"corbyn, call the ambulance." daniel tells corbyn. corbyn quickly dials 9-1-1. daniel kneels over me and hugs me to his chest.
"no no no no you are not gonna leave me now." daniel shook my near lifeless body.
"keep your eyes open for me please. y/n please." daniels voice breaks even more until he chokes up. i close my eyes.