WHEN I MET YOU - A JohnnyBoy story - (The Outsiders)

6 - Scars and admitting secrets- Ponyboys POV

It was already Friday again so I was so happy that me and Johnny would get to spend more time together.

Ever since he found out about me not eating we've gotten closer this whole week, I've also been eating more, I'm not gonna lie I sometimes felt sick after eating but I still tried to force myself, for Johnny.

It was still pretty hard to eat though, but I knew it wasn't healthy.

When I woke up this morning, I wake to sound of Johnny cooking.

I get up and get ready for the day.

When I come out Johnny smiles at me.

"Good morning Ponyboy!"

"Good morning Johnny!"

I sat down on the table as we talked and he served me some food.

We ate and after we were done I was sad because he had to go into work.

"Do you have to?"

"Yes, don't worry, I'll be home before you know it."

I sigh and sit on the couch.

"Alright, well have a good day Johnny."

"You too Ponyboy." He says while closing the door.

I then started thinking. I wonder what Soda is doing right now.

He's probably glad his gay brother is out of the house. I then start thinking about the gang.

I try to stop by reading and watching T.V, and somehow it works but I still feel lonely and can't for Johnny to come.
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When Johnny opens the door, I jump from the couch and look at him.

"Johnny! You're back!"

He laughs and nods.

He starts fixing dinner and we talk about our days and we eat our food as well.

When we're done we decide to go out on his balcony.

We start laughing and talking.

Until I say a joke and Johnny laughs so hard he touches my arm squeezing it gently.

Me being stupid, I wince and say "ouch" too loud which causes him to let go.

"Did I squeeze to hard?"

He asks.

"Uh, yeah, sorry."

"No, you don't have to be sorry, but I touched it gently..." he says.

⚠️SELF HARM WARNING⚠️

He looks at my hand for a second and his eyes widen a little.

No.

He reaches out and grabs my arm.

"Johnny!-" is all I manage to say as he pulls up my sleeve and his eyes widen in horror.

My scars are very visible and there's a lot since I'm still cutting and I recently did this morning after Johnny left.

"Pony..." He said, his eyes filling with tears, he blinked them away, but I still couldn't handle seeing him like this so I look away.

He grabs my other arm and lifts of my sleeve.

"Pony...w-why?" He said, this time his eyes had tears again but he didn't blink them away.

"I-I I'm sorry...." I say looking down, at this point I want to cry, so I do.

"But why do you do this? I-I...don't want you to keep doing this to yourself..."

I look back up at him and he's crying as well, which really scares me because he never cried in front of me. Not even when he told me his past.

"I can't tell you why...because of my secret, I'm sorry but I know you'll probably be glad I'm doing this to myself if you found out."

"Ponyboy, I'll never ever want you to do this if I found out, you're my best friend, and yes I know we having known each other for that long, but I still care about you so much. More than you can think of."

I wipe my tears with my other hand and shake my head.

"No, the reason I got kicked out was because of my secret, if my own blood can kick me out, you could too."

"Just tell me Ponyboy, please, I'm worried about you, first it's about you eating and now this? You're just hurting yourself."

"No Johnny! Don't forget you also have a secret! You can just ask me to tell you when you won't tell me either! I trust you and I stay in your own home and I don't even know your secret! You could be dangerous for all I know!" I say snapping at him.

⚠️Self harm is over⚠️

I instantly regret doing that but I just got scared, I didn't want to tell him and then lose him as a friend because that would mean I had no one.

He lets go of my hand and wipes his tears.

"You know what Ponyboy? Your right. I haven't told you because I'm scared of losing you and you're also right, you trust me and stay here and you don't know something that could ruin my life. So that's why I'm telling you." He says pausing.

He looks down and looks back up at me.

"I'm gay..."

I freeze and my eyes widen.

Holy shit! There's no way, he's just like me? He has the exact same secret as me and he's my crush too! This is amazing. I don't have to fear of him hating me because he's just like me!

He starts crying even more and I realized I haven't said anything.

"Johnny, I'm gay too...that's why I didn't tell you...because I was scared of you kicking me out...that was also my secret."

He stops crying and his eyes widen.

"Which is also the reason I do this...not eating and cutting myself...I mean."

I told him everything about how Curly abuses me and how Darry kicked me out because he found out about me dating a boy.

The whole time Johnny was shocked.

"Ponyboy, I didn't know you were dating someone like that...you hurt yourself because of him?"

I nodded and kept on crying.

He hugged me and he didn't let go.

"Ponyboy, you deserve so much more than him, so please stop doing this to yourself. I'll help you."

I smile at how much he helps me. Maybe he really does care about me. He risked a secret that big just so I could trust him.

"I wanna break up with him Johnny...I really do."

"I know it's really hard to break up with him because your scared so we'll figure something out ok?"

I nod.

We calm down and get ready for bed.

Telling each other we're gay really got us closer together. So I don't regret none of this.
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Hey everyone! I hoped you liked this chapter, and the romance is starting soon! Anyway thank you so much for reading it means so much to me! ❤️

LOVE YOU!!