Soul Bound (Completed)

Chapter Seven

          I felt sick. I wanted to turn back, but I fought it with everything in me. I wanted to scream in frustration and cry at the same time. I was so damn scared of what was going on with me.

          I had been so hurt when I'd found out about Christian cheating, but that pain wasn't in the same league as this. Nowhere near as close. Maybe it was a delayed reaction? Surely, I couldn't be so distraught over someone I had just met and barely even knew.

          Looking down at my crumpled dress, I felt like such a whore. I couldn't believe that I'd just had sex with a complete stranger. I'd never understood it when girls slept around... had even been kind of disgusted by it. Yet here I was, doing the exact same thing. God, I was such a hypocrite.  But I really hadn't been able to help myself. Maybe it was all the alcohol, or the myriad of emotions I'd been going through, but it felt like last night was out of my control.

          As soon as I arrived home, I headed straight for the shower. Like I'd ever be able to wash the memories of last night away, I thought scornfully. I'd been so eager when my parents had said that they were going away for the weekend, so happy that they'd decided I was old enough to stay at home by myself for a few days.

           I dreaded being left to my own devices again. This would never have happened if my parents had been home. As it was, I was not looking forward to them coming back today. I doubted my ability to act as though everything was fine.

          What had I done?

          I felt a pang of loss as the hot water washed away the smell of Luca still lingering on my skin. The memories of last night remained clear in my mind though. I was sure that they always would.

          Sleeping with him had been out of this world. It hadn't just been the physical aspect, which had been amazing in itself. He had made me feel so cherished, so loved. It was surreal. I could easily have gotten used to spending the rest of my nights like that. The chemistry and attraction I had felt was almost dreamlike.

           It was also terrifying.

          I was pretty sure that I was always going to think what if. What if I'd stayed that morning? What if he'd wanted to talk and get to know me once our lust and desire had been sated?

          Or what if he would have just kicked me to the curb, like a one-night stand?

          Damn, it didn't even matter anymore. Last night – although absolutely perfect – was over now. I'd have to get on with the rest of my life. Without him. Feeling exhausted and bone-weary at the thought, I ended up sitting cross-legged on the floor of the shower, letting the hot water pour over me. I was worn out, both physically and emotionally.

          I got out of the shower once I realized that that the water hammering down on me was no longer the boiling hot it had been when I'd gotten in, but frigidly cold. I had been so lost in my own thoughts, I hadn't even noticed the temperature of the water until my teeth began to chatter.