~ Nash ~

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~nash~

You never realise what you have until you let it go.

Which unfortunately I did the same thing as the next person did. I know I'm not the only one that this has happened to.

I mean I don't know if other people in comas can talk in there heads and see nothing but pitch black. And have the same situation as me.

But maybe a month has already passed? and to me it feels like its only been an hour hearing my own thoughts. And not even hearing my loved ones or anything. I can't even imagine seeing them worrying and crying.

I trying. I'm trying to move and open my eyes. To at least see a speck of light. To know that I'm at least doing progress. But I can't. I'm trying hard. But I just can't. And its so fucking hard to do so when you have so much in mind.

My life, it's just a disaster.

"Selfish bitch". I'm still thinking about it. Am I really that. Especially coming from Cameron's mouth. When Cameron says something I know it's true. I've know him long enough to know when he's lying and not lying. And I know he wasn't lying when he said all those stuff at me.

But that was the past. And to forget about he past I must not think and not say. And to do so I must forget.

It could be 20 years from now and I'm still in a comma and still remember what he has told. But not complain. That's the key forget.

And even if I do wake up in about a week. I'll forgive and forget. Not just to Cameron, but to everyone. I admit I have been acting a bit selfish.

When I wake up, I know that I'll be having everyones attention. And that's just because what has happened to me. I'll give it a week tops that that that they won't even call me or text me on how I'm doing. Just for those days is when I will actually feel special. After that I will basically be a nobody.

Except for my fans of course. They'll always be there for me.

But a change I will make. Once I wake up from this coma. I'll be changing for the better good. I'll still be the same Nash. I'll just be more, me. Believe it or not, I feel like the real me hasn't come out yet. I feel like a part of me hasn't come out yet.

Speaking of change. I might. It show it, but I've been watching Cam and it wasn't so much about change, but about how he was acting. He was acting so weird. Like I remember not to long ago when I got out of the shower and him just acting awkward and weird. Shoving some kind of paper down this backpack, I think.

Don't really remember half of the stuff I did. But I guess it's some type of symptom. I'll get it back when I wake up.

That's only if I do...

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I have a really cool story I'm so excited to write!! If you want to check it out its called He'll never know
If it gets more then 500+ reads I'll happily continue.

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