My Letters To You (Cash)

~ Letter Tweleve ~

~letter twelve~

Again I fled. I know running away from my problems doesn't solve anything. But sometimes running away from people is the only choice you can make. Maybe it was suppose to end like this.

You not remembering me.

Was it destiny? or was it something I caused you to have. Making me pay and suffer.

I cut my hair. And I didn't do it because I needed a hair cut. I did it because I wanted to change the style of my hair. So I no longer had that hair across my forehead, loosely hanging there. I gotta say I kinda miss it. Not having to jerk my head to the side to get my hair out of my eyes. Or not having the wind blow my hair in all directions. But it's a good way to start.

It's been a week since I last saw anyone. It's been a week since I haven't been on social media. It's been a week since I've even talked to anybody. And I miss it. I miss having people around me. I miss joking around with my friends. I miss everything.

But there's something in my brain telling me to stay away for a while. It's been weeks since I've last took my pill. And I honestly didn't even think it worked in the first place. If that it made it much worse then better.

I'm thinking maybe next week I'll come back? or maybe just stay home with my family for awhile. Home sounds good but leaving my other family like that and not even telling them where I'm going, making me look like a douce bag. Then if I do go back there're still going to get mad at me and I understand. I would've to.

Right now I'm in this cabin in the woods. I thought it would be safe to stay away from society to. Just me and nature. It's really soothing. Hearing the birds sing at daylight. The beautiful sunset you see first thing in the morning. Green everywhere.

Daylight is beautiful, but so is dark time. A clear view of all stars. The moon glistening in the lake. It's truly a beautiful site.

But not alone.

Not when your alone and sad at the world. It just makes matters worse. So I stay inside the cabin. Writing away my feeling.

By the time I do come back you will probably already be back at the hotel. Packing your things. Everyone packing there things. To go to the next event. Just like that as if nothing has happened. Everything will be the same. Just that you wouldn't recognise me.

We wouldn't be that duel friendship everyone wants. 'Cash' will be gone. People will start to notice. Then everything comes crashing down again.

If I could I would turn back time to the day where everything was normal. Where nothing was wrong with me and you.

It started off at the gay tweets about us. You got so mad about. And I would tell you to calm down. But you wouldn't it only got worse. So I never brung up the subject.

It was weird because you would get mad at me for no reason, then happy. You would start touching me and stuff like people flirting with each other. But then push me around like a jerk. Telling me to stop touching you and stuff.

Which is fine. Because you were Nash and I liked you.

It didn't really bother me. Just as long you were with me, I was fine. Up until the accident.

I'm begging that its just a short term memory lose thing. Were your able to recover the memories of me and you. If not then I'll probably go crazy myself.

-

It's 6:15 in the morning. I packed up all my stuff. I decided to come back.

I turned on my phone. Having almost 200 text messages. Most "where are you" or "please respond".

I texted my mom telling her I was alright. Then I texted Bart where the next show was. Then I was off.

Just like that starting a new chapter in my life.

Yours Truly,
Cameron Dallas