The Story of Griffin Hawkins

Chapter Thirty

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Unedited, first draft

Chapter Thirty

Week Eight

Thursday

Griffin had left quickly after Zoey's story. I wasn't sure what his problem was, but I left him alone. I felt irritated by his behavior. It helped that I worked a majority of the weekend.

It wasn't until Sunday afternoon that I finally caved and called his phone. It rang and rang. After the fourth call, I began to put on my shoes in sheer worry that something was wrong. As I started to call for the fifth time, the phone stopped ringing.

"Hello, Cadence." Mrs. Hawkins voice greeted. I immediately sat down on the nearest chair.

"Hey, Elizabeth. Is everything okay?" I eagerly inquired. My palms were sweaty in anticipation.

"He's okay, honey, I promise." I sighed in relief. "Griffin, sweetheart, Cadence is on the phone. Don't you want to talk to her?"

I couldn't hear his exact words, but I could hear his muffled voice responding to her. I could tell Elizabeth covered the phone as she sternly said, "Griffin, just talk to her. She's worried about you." His muffled response came again and Elizabeth sighed into the phone.

"I'm sorry Cadence, but Griffin is refusing to take the phone. He doesn't want to talk right now. He wanted me to tell you that he's fine and he will text you when he feels like talking. I'm sorry, dear." She apologized for his behavior.

"It's okay, Elizabeth. It's just good to know he's okay. Thanks."

"Of course! Thank you for calling."

We hung up and I began to feel immensely irritated with Griffin. We had slept together Wednesday night, and then the next day he doesn't say a word to me at therapy. He ignored me all weekend and when I call, he has his mother tell me he doesn't want to talk. The nerve!

I knew we weren't exclusively dating one another. We hadn't actually talked about it. He never called me his girlfriend, nor did I call him my boyfriend. There were clearly feelings involved, but what the hell!

I suddenly felt like not putting up with his issues, but at the same time I had an even harder time letting go of him.

Whether the words had been said or not, I was falling hard for Griffin Hawkins.

Week Nine

Tuesday

It was the first week of April and the weather had begun to break. It was surprisingly low 60's. I only had to wear a light jacket to my session with Dr. Harris. I was also thoroughly enjoying the sunshine.

I still hadn't heard from Griffin so I tried my hardest to not text him. I tried to occupy my mind so I wouldn't feel the urge to reach out to someone who clearly didn't want to talk to me. I had to have patience and wait for him. It was annoying.

Dr. Harris was wearing a long skirt with it being a gorgeous day out. She didn't sit with a notepad and pen like usual. "How are we feeling today?"

"I won't lie that the sunshine doesn't help."

She smiled, "It is a beautiful day out. Did you go outside and enjoy it?"

"I did. I laid out on my deck for awhile." I answered.

"Good. How have you been feeling in regards to our last conversation, about your siblings?" She crossed her legs to get comfortable in her chair.

"I still feel inadequate, but I can't help to be proud of them."

"Well that's different and it's a step in the right direction."

"I love my brother and sister. What kind of sister am I if I can't be proud of them and their accomplishments? True, I'm jealous because it seems like things come easier for them, but I'm happy that they've done the amazing things that they have." I paused. "My other problem is that I feel stupid."

Her eyebrows furrowed, "Stupid?"

"I feel stupid for feeling the way that I feel when Zoey is facing death. I'm not sick, I'm healthy, and yet, I can't enjoy my life."

"Cadence-" Dr. Harris interrupted my thought process. "Stop right there. Just because you're healthy, doesn't mean you're not allowed to feel sad. Depression is different for everyone and you cannot compare yours to Zoey's."