His Painful Journey (Part Two)

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by YourLittleRyu

by YourLittleRyu

Two

It’s her last day. This would be the the last time I would see her face. Ramdam kong may hinanakit sa’kin ang pamilya ni Andrea pero nagpapasalamat ako buti na lang mabait pa rin sila. Hinayaan nila akong makapunta sa burol niya at ngayon sa libing. I looked at her from above at hinagis ang isang puting rosas. I’m sorry. I love you. Yes, I love her and I’m too dumb to realize it when she’s already gone.

And for the last time, I saw her beautiful face.

Nakatayo lang ako sa isang tabi at kanina ko pa nararamdaman na may nakatingin sakin. Then, I saw a pair of eyes intently staring at me. She looks at me with pity—Wait, no. It’s sympathy. Para bang pinaparating niya na naiintindihan niya ako. Pero hindi. Walang nakakaintindi sa akin, sa nararamdaman ko. Naaasar na nga ang mga tao sa paligid ko telling me to just suck it up. Eh tangina hindi naman ganun kadali yun. Fuck this!

Sitting on the floor, leaning on the side of my bed while holding a bottle of beer. Ito na yata ang tipikal na set up ko. Hindi ko parin matanggap ang katotohanan na wala na siya. Wala na siya dahil sa kin. Hawak ko ang isang picture namin na nakita ko sa isang shoebox together with all our other stuff. We were so happy in this picture. It I fucking remember everything now. Putangina lang bakit ngayon ko lang naalala? Kung sana noon pa, maybe we’ll still be together. Maybe she’s still breathing and smiling like she always do.

You loved me but I took you for granted.

And again, tears streamed down my face.