Take Me Home | ✔

Chapter Thirty-Three

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE 

    I was practically sweating out guilt from my pores. 

   The second we pulled apart, my heart had already given up trying to feel whatever it was I should've been feeling, and my brain completely shut down because of the excess of confusion. I was limp, and stunned, but Elliot didn't look fazed at all. 

   Okay, Vienna, calm down. Just calm down, and relax. Maybe Elliot mistook you for someone else. Or maybe he just got struck with a sudden bout of amnesia and forgot everything about his past back home and just wanted to kiss somebody. 

   Or maybe he actually meant to kiss me. 

   "Elliot, why the hell--?" 

   "Look, I-I'm sorry if I stepped out of bounds," he interjected, "But you looked pretty alone. And I couldn't leave you like that."

   I smiled weakly, feeling my legs go weak, my heart going numb. "But, Samantha. She's waiting for you back at that hospital."

  Elliot frowned deeply. "I know what I did, alright? If we're being completely honest, I'm not proud of that kiss."

  I knew it. This whole ordeal was one big crashing rollercoaster. The kiss was the climax, and now it was all falling down. "Oh," my face fell and I looked away.

  "But I have been wanting to do it," he blurted out. 

 I felt like choking. "Come again?" How exactly did I feel this surge of oncoming delight come on when he had a girlfriend? I wasn't going to be what I hated the most. I wasn't going to be the other girl. 

   "I've been wanting to do it since Arkansas," he admitted breathlessly, never once tearing his gaze away from mine. But for a couple of seconds, he looked up at the cieling and sighed. "Look, Vienna, it's complicated." 

    "No, it really isn't, Elliot," I snapped without thinking. 

   He looked confused, and more than surprised. "What?" 

   "You have a girlfriend back home and you kissed another girl?" What the hell was I doing? All I've ever wanted since the fourth grade was for Elliot James to kiss his lips onto mine. Ever since the start of this road trip, I had wanted to him to see me as someone other than a charity case, someone other than just a random teenage hitchhiker. What the hell was I saying and why couldn't I stop? 

   "Wait, what? I thought... I thought this was what you wanted," Elliot's voice came out shaky, unclear. He instantly started reddening, and it wasn't because of the red strobe lights vibrating across the casino. 

  My eyes averted to my shoes instantly. "I-I did, I do." 

  "Then why are you acting like you hate my guts for kissing you?" he asked, his voice going soft. 

  I remained silent, mainly because I forgot how to speak words and mainly because I knew that if I did say something, it would only add gas to the fire. 

  "Vienna?" Elliot urged. 

   "Elliot, I'm sorry, I can't do this, to you or Samantha," I started. 

  "You're right." Elliot said, causing me to look up. "I'm sorry for kissing you. Never should've done it."

  It broke my heart into an infinite amount of pieces to see him so wounded. I wanted to tell him that kissing him was one of the highlights of this whole godforsaken trip, that him making the effort to kiss me when the effort wasn't called for made me want to scream from the top of my lungs. But this was unfair. To him, to me, to Samantha. I couldn't shake off the lingering feeling that what we were doing was wrong. Even if Samantha had cheated on him three times, I wouldn't allow Elliot to stoop down to her level. He was better than that. And if it meant waiting, maybe for a time that wouldn't come, then so be it.