Wait until the music's over

18. Panicky and Grumpy

Now, I don't wanna brag about how experienced I am sexually... Well I am. I've had a lot of girls and seen and experienced many weird things. But I have to admit that a panic attack after a fuck is something I never went through before. I suspect it was because of the loads of coke I've been doing lately. What else? Angie's right, I should get myself together.

I don't know how the fuck it happened. The only thing I know is that a moment before I'm lying on the bed on my back, heavy breathing and with my heart beating fast, but calm. A half laugh even slips out of my lips while I'm trying to figure out where the fuck that I love you came from. One says a lot of bullshit in those moments! A moment later though, as soon as Angie gets closer to me to cash in her well deserved share of after-sex cuddling, it's like somebody sucked up all the oxygen out of the room. At first I think I'm just tired, but then I start gasping for air, my heart beats even faster and I soon find myself in a cold sweat.

"Can we stay like this forever?" she asks in a tender voice, drawing who knows what on my chest with her fingers.

"Uh?"

"Wouldn't it be great? Stay like this forever, suspended in a limbo, far from everything and everybody, only you and me... or at least for a while. Don't you think?" she explains and hugs me, and the mere touch of our skin makes me feel like I've just dived into boiling lava.

"Well, yeah..."

"No worries, no troubles... We have a bed, food, music, a shower, each other, everything we need is in here" she goes on and rests her chin on my diaphragm. Shit, did you have to push right there? I can't breathe already...

"Hehehe yeah, it can be fun, for a little time..."

"Yes, sure, I know we can't live like that for ever, just saying! It's just... I think we need to find some time and space for us alone, what do you think?"

"Do you mean you'd like to go somewhere? Like a travel?" I ask as the bed seems to turn into a bed of nails.

"Why not? But I think that the simple idea of spending a whole day in bed fooling around, relaxing and making love sounds great already, don't you?"

"Yeah, but... you mean today?" I ask. 'Cause everything I wanna do today, possibly in the next five minutes, is running away from here, as far as I can.

"Oh well, that was the idea, you know, I am forced to stay home... do you have anything more important than me to do?" she glanced me a sneering look.

"Uhm yes... NO! I mean, nothing more important than you, but I do have something to do... with the band, band obligations! What time is it by the way?" I abruptly sit on the bed, literally shaking her off me, or at least trying, but her arms are still on my shoulders, while I stretch one hand towards the floor looking for any of my clothes.

"Don't worry, it's not half past seven yet... Hey are you ok? You're cold" Angie rubs her cheek against my face and notices my state.

"Fuck, it's late!" I exclaim jumping out of the bed, finally released from her grip. I guess I got up too quickly because my head's starts spinning a bit.

"Are you alright, Jerry? Your skin is ice cold and you're all sweaty... Where do you have to go?" she asks worried, moving to the edge of the bed.

"Nah, I'm fine, I just need a shower! Anyway I have a meeting at Susan's office, in one hour, and I must also go home first to make myself presentable" I tell her the first lie which comes to my mind. God, this room is so small!

"Are you sure everything's fine?"

"Sure babe, it's just... it's your fault, you wore me out!" I make the effort of getting briefly on the bed again to give her a little peck on the forehead, to calm her down, then get back searching my clothes on the floor.