Once a rival (five x reader)

Chapter six

Y/N's POV
I ended up falling asleep again, but this dream was something that has never happened before.
Dream
I opened my eyes and realized I was tied to a chair. I was in a motel and I was gagged, two other people were there the people who attacked us in the store when we got Delores. They kept trying to torture me but it didn't work, then they left and hid me in the closet.
End dream
I woke up and it was darker then usual. Five was still next to me, looking out to the hospital. After what was probably forever we say Lance come out. Five grabbed my hand and jumped close to the guy. We kept quiet and I had a terrible feeling again.
'I felt isolated, alone, like I was the last person alive. I looked around to see everything around me in flames and ashes. I wander for a long time alone trying to get back to the ones I love.
"Y/N snap out of it." Five tells me again.
"What happened?" I asked him
"You just spaced out again." He told me as we begin to head back to the van.
"Wait can we just stop somewhere quickly?" I asked him hoping he'll say yes
He nods and I took him to a nearby park.
"Look at this place, I saw it on a mission when we were young. I took one look and thought of you." I tell him
He smiled at me
I took off my blazer and sit on it. I look at Five and gesture him over to me, he sits beside me and it was a very nice moment.
"Is that blood?" He asked looking at my shirt.
"Yeah don't worry though I'm fine." I assure him
"Can I see it?" He asked me
"No."
"If it's fine then I should be able to see it." He tells me
I didn't know what to say so I unbutton the bottom part of my shirt and unwrap the bandage. He saw two bullet holes still bleeding.
"When did this happen?" He asked sternly and concerned
"The first one was at the coffee shop. The second was at the store." I explain holding my head down.
He goes to touch it but I just button my shirt up
"It's nothing now come on." I tell him as I get up
"Y/N that's not nothing, it's a huge deal." He mentions
"Well it can be dealt with later." I say walking faster
He jumped in front of my causing me to stop
"Hey just listen to me." He tells me
"Why don't you listen to me, god each time I try to talk to you you're in your own world, I have so much I want to say to you but you never try to listen once." I annoyingly say to him
He looks at me in shock
"And also that thing this morning what the hell was that. You might not want to be helped or you don't want me around but I made a promise that if I saw you again I wouldn't loose you like last time. Why do you think I've always been so hard on myself when you came back, it's cause of you I went after you and was so close to stopping you but wasn't able to. I don't want you to disappear again I care too much about you and I don't know how I will be able to cope with it." I explain out of breath and almost in tears.
He didn't say anything but he did do something that made me feel better. He just went up and hugged me, not a Klaus hug, or a Diego hug, or a Vanya hug or an Allison hug. This hug was one that made me never want to let go.
"Do you remember one of the missions we went on, you twisted your ankle and couldn't walk. And for the rest of the way home I had to carry you on my back?" He asked me continuing to hug me
"Yeah you told me that if I got way to carried away I could get hurt. Guess you were right again." I say having some tears trickle down my face.
Five grabbed my hand and was about to jump us to the van when I requested we go on a walk. He nodded and we started walking, we were almost there when Five grabbed my hand I held his in response feeling a warmth crawl up my arm and go through my entire body. We made it back to the van and got back in.
"Ok no fighting with me on this one. You need to sleep." I requested
He sighed and leaned on my shoulder drifting off into sleep.
Well now really when we go back into falling in love. And say, it's crazy. Falling. You see? We don't say "rising into love". There is in it, the idea of the fall. And it goes back, as a matter of fact, to extremely fundamental things. That there is always a curious tie at some point between the fall and the creation. Taking this ghastly risk is the condition of there being life. You see, for all life is an act of faith and an act of gamble. The moment you take a step, you do so on an act of faith because you don't really know that the floor's not going to give under your feet. The moment you take a journey, what an act of faith. The moment that you enter into any kind of human undertaking in relationship, what an act of faith. See, you've given yourself up. But this is the most powerful thing that can be done: surrender. See. And love is an act of surrender to another person. Total abandonment. I give myself to you. Take me. Do anything you like with me. See. So, that's quite mad because you see, it's letting things get out of control. All sensible people keep things in control. Watch it, watch it, watch it. Security? Vigilance Watch it. Police? Watch it. Guards? Watch it. Who's going to watch the guards? So, actually, therefore, the course of wisdom, what is really sensible, is to let go, is to commit oneself, to give oneself up and that's quite mad. So we come to the strange conclusion that in madness lies sanity.

'Why do I feel like this
A/N
That speech is by Alan Watts and every time I write something for this I think of this. Goodbye