Winchestered

30

Who was first then?

Death or Dean?

Death.

Well almost. The blade did almost touch my skin but Dean was faster. He threw the blade across the room so I wouldn't reach for it. I tried though. The second he threw It away I screamed for him to stop and give it back. I tried to run to it but he held my wrists. I screamed for him to let me go but he wouldn't.

"LET ME GO" I scream.

"No" He yells back. "Not until you calm down"

I wanted to trick him that I've calmed down then run to the blade and do it but I could see that he wouldn't fall for it. My cheeks were dry from all the crying. Instead of running towards the blade I turned around and tried to punch Dean but he held my wrists tight.

"Why won't you just leave" I said through weak punches. He doesn't answer back. 

"I don't know" He lowers his voice.

I stop punching, instead I sink in his embrace and he holds me tight, wrapping his arms around me as we both sink to the floor.

"I just want this to end" I cry out.

"Me too. Me too" I think he either kissed the top of my head or he accidentally did it. But I don't want to know. Great, now Dean knows how weak I am and now he knows that I still have feelings for him. Could this get any worse. Dean doens't let go. He doesn't back away. He sits there with me in his lap. 

He's holding me tight that I even hear his heart beat. Eventually it calmed me down, Dean noticed and slowly but carefully let me go.

"Hey, look at me" He cupped my face with both of his hands and use his thumbs to wipe the tears away. I tried to look away but it was to no use so I look at him in the eye.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the shit I said. I didn't mean any of it. I would never forgive myself if I ever did. Never."

I moved my head a little and look up to keep the tears from coming. But Dean gently moved it back.

"Listen to me. Cameron was an awesome kid okay, his death effected me too. I know that if Sam ever died and never came back I would never had survived. But you did. You're stronger than me Trish. You're stronger than any of us. Sure you cry sometimes but by now you must know that I do too. Sam does too.Everyone does! That's what makes us human. I'm sorry for what I said. I... I don't know what got into my head that made it seem as the right thing to say. I swear I would never say that to you. I'd rather die. Trisha I...  I still love you. I never stopped."

"Dean" I search for his eyes but they were flicking everywhere. Anything to avoid eye contact. Finally he stared right into my eyes. It felt like he was starring at my soul.

Deans POV

*****

"Look I tried to deny it as much as you wanted me to, I swear I tried every method. But I can't okay. I can't. I'm truly, madly and deeply in love with you... I don't care if we're two worlds apart. I don't care if you hate me. I know when we first meet that I was a bitch towards you, but back then, I liked you even back then. I use to have dreams about you. I know that sounds very pervert but I couldn't keep you off my mind. When you left I thought I could start new but this thing here" He patted on his chest were his heart is. "Won't stop fucking hurting. The day Sam left was the day I knew he had feelings for you."  I pause.

"He was so determent to find you and he has never been like that before. And I can seriously see Sam as your type, he's smart, you're smart. He's talented and kind, you're the same. You'd both... you'd fit great." I could feel something inside of me burn. This is the hardest thing I've ever done. "I in the other hand, am broken, the things I did in hell still haunt me at night. I see demon and darkness in everything. Even in something as flawless as a diamond. I still see the sharp edges. But I love you" I breathe in.

"I love you, I love you, I love you" I repeat quickly. My heart is aching. "But I just want to tell you that a future with me is a hell. And I never want that to happen to you. My point here is that, I love you but I can't risk the damage that will happen to you. I... I want to be with you but I.. I just don't want to hurt you and I know I will and I'm so frustrated and confused right n-"

Before I can finish my sentence a felt something warm on my lips. I tried to blink the tears away so I could get a clear view of what is happening right now.

She's kissing me.

SHE is kissing ME

It lasted for a few beautiful seconds and we pulled away. I stare at her and she smiles weakly and leans quickly in for an other kiss. My mind and thoughts isn't comprehending her fast moves. She throws herself on me and I fall on my back with her on top. I giggle.

Wait.. Did I just giggle.

"Cute" She says.

"What?" I say in between kisses.

"You're cute"

"Just cute?" I brake the kiss but she quickly leans in again.

"Yes, just cute"

I couldn't come with a witty comment this time. I'm going to let her win this time.

"I meant what I said you know"

"Shut up" She pulls her shirt off and then mine.

I spin us around so I'm on top.

"I'm not joking"

"Just shut up and kiss me" She demands and I don't argue.

My phone started to ring on the desk beside my bed.

"Your phone" Trisha says and I leave marks on her neck.

"Ignore it" My phone can't ruin this. I have been waiting for this in weeks, months even. "I'll call back tomorrow" I say and she giggles when my cold belt touches her stomach. 

I forgot that she's ticklish. How could I forget that she's ticklish. I slowly tickled her and she laughed and tried to push me away. I stopped tickling her and looked at her deep in the eyes. I smiled at her and she blushed. God I've missed her.

I slowly leaned in and kissed her passionately. The phone kept ringing but I ignored it, nothings is more important than this right now. Nothing.

Little did Dean know, that the man on the other line...

calling him...

was none the less but...

Sam.

****

This chapter probably has a lot of errors in it but it's late and I am too sleepy to read it all over again. Also I want to thank you guys that comment and vote. Literally makes my day and I LOVE IT when you comment what you think will happen and what you want to happen. Makes my day every single day!

That's basically it and now I shall read my book while I listen to an endless play list of Michael Buble, ILY GUYS BYEEEEEEEE. x