OCD// a.g - t.a

21

December 33

i attended tate's funeral today.

it was a short service were many people gathered and talked about how they loved him as in past tense.

i still love him.

without him the overwhelming need to clean hits me back at full force and my old ways are resurfacing. although i know that tate wouldn't want this.

it's hard for me to think about that when tate is not even here anymore.

having tate in my life; even if for a short period of time was one of the best things that happened to me, and having him taken away was one of the worst.

i know if tate were here he would be telling me to move on and get to better parts of my life, and put this in the past.

but tate isn't here anymore, he's not here to be my anchor, and i think that without him i might just drift away.